Borderline Personality Disorder, Podcast with Author, Life Coach A.J. 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</ul> <br />  <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="art-block"> <div class="art-block-body"> <div class="art-blockheader"> <div class="l"></div> <div class="r"></div> <div class="t">Follow A.J.</div> </div> <div class="art-blockcontent"> <div class="art-blockcontent-body">  <br /> <center><a href="http://twitter.com/ajmahari" target="_blank"> <img src="http://ajmahari.ca/images/twitter.png" alt="twitter" /> </a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/borderlinepersonality" target="_blank"> <img src="http://ajmahari.ca/images/facebook.png" alt="facebook" /></a> <a href="http://youtube.com/ajmahari" target="_blank"><img src="http://touchstonecoaching.ca/images/Youtube.png"width="80" height="80" alt="youtube"></a></center> <br /> <center><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="none" data-via="ajmahari">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" 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flashvars="file=http://www.blogtalkradio.com%2fajmaharipsychewhisperer%2fplay_list.xml%3Fitemcount%3D5&autostart=false&shuffle=false&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FlashPlayerCallback.aspx&width=170&height=270&volume=80&corner=rounded" width="170" height="270" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" quality="high" wmode="transparent" menu="false" allowScriptAccess="always" name="M29064" id="M29064"></embed></object> <br /> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari March 2010</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=200&category=14" target="_blank"> <img src="images/ChangeThoughtsChangeLifeEbookCover.jpg" width="180" height="210" alt="Change Your Life - Change Your Thoughts Ebook by A.J. Mahari" title="Change Your Life - Change Your Thoughts Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>Punishment and Revenge in BPD Ebook by A.J. Mahari</i></font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari 2010</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=171&category=13" target="_blank"> <img src="images/punishmentandrevengeinbpd.jpg" width="180" height="190" alt="Punishment and Revenge in BPD Ebook by A.J. Mahari" title="Punishment and Revenge in BPD Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines Ebook by A.J. Mahari</i></font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari 2007</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=41&category=13" target="_blank"> <img src="images/fullcircle.png" width="180" height="190" alt="Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines Ebook by A.J. Mahari" title="Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>The Power of Gratitude - <i>Healing - Recovery - Wellness and Getting Unstuck</i></font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari December 2010</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=229&category=14" target="_blank"> <img src="images/powerofgratitudeEbookandAudiocovers.jpg" width="180" height="190" alt="The Power of Gratitude Ebook by A.J. Mahari" title="The Power of Gratitude Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness - <i>Ebook/Coaching Guide/Workbook and Audio</i></font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari January 2011</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=233&category=14" target="_blank"> <img src="images/questselfebookandaudio2.jpg" width="180" height="210" alt="Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness Ebook and Audio by A.J. Mahari" title="Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness Ebook and Audio by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br />  <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="art-layout-cell art-content"> <div class="art-post"> <div class="art-post-body"> <div class="art-post-inner art-article">  <h1><b>Borderline Resistance To Help & "Truth"</b></h1> <p><i><b>Are those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) resistant to help? Why? Why is it that borderlines cannot hear the "truth" according to others who love and or care about them?</b></i> </p> <br /> <hr> <p>A.J.'s Audio Program <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=114&category=24" target="_blank"> <b>Borderline Splitting - Understanding for Loved Ones</b></a></p> <hr> <br /> <p>Borderlines live in a parallel world emotionally. Their perceptions of shared reality as it is unfolding in the <i>here and now</i> is often distorted and skewed by the three main things:</p> <p><font size=2><ul> <li>1. Relating to others - which often triggers them into <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=23&category=23" target="_blank"><b>emotional dysregulation</a></b></li> <li>2. Rigid all-or-nothing, black-and-white polarized thinking that results from their inability to consistently hold feelings, thoughts, or perceptions about <i>self</i> or <i>other</i> due mainly to the defense mechanism of splitting.</li> <li>3. The reality that the parallel emotional experience of those with BPD is defined by a truth, a <i>borderline truth</i> that was formed as a reaction to the <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=52&category=4" target="_blank"><b>core wound of abandonment</a></b> and that continues to be shaped and experienced by the on-going <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=93&category=4" target="_blank"><b>impact of the core wound of abandonment</a></b> by those with BPD. The borderline's unresolved issues of <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=20&category=6" target="_blank"><b>abandonment</a></b> and the <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=21&category=6" target="_blank"><b>shame of abandonment</a></b> cause them to defend against the very truth that exists in shared reality. This more "objective" <i>here and now</i> truth is often not something that is connected to in any consistent, lasting, or consciously aware way.</li></ul> </font></p> <h1><b>Why are borderlines so resistant to help?</b></h1> <p><font size=2>A large portion of the resistance of many borderlines stems firstly and foremostly from all of the pain and damage they have suffered. Pain that they have <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=27&category=22" target="_blank"><b>abandoned</a></b> in attempts to try to cope with the distress of their <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=23&category=23" target="_blank"><b>emotional dysregulation</a></b>. Borderlines experience what are ruptures of varying degrees in connectedness in relation to others as broken trust. Broken trust is experienced with the duality of the borderline's past superimposed upon the unfolding <i>here and now</i> that they are not often very emotionally aware of. Unresolved issues of <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=20&category=6" target="_blank"><b>abandonment</a></b> and feelings of broken trust and betrayal (usually more rooted in the past) along with the absence of a known self lead the borderline to defend against the truth as others see it and express it. </font></p> <p><font size=2>Borderlines often feel abandoned and betrayed by someone who tries to tell them the truth. Remember, if you are a family member, loved one, or relationship partner of someone with BPD, the truth, as you know it, is a truth that those with BPD do not have any interpersonal skills to cope with any potential distress they may feel in response to it. Therefore, they protect against it and dismiss it as "your problem". </font></p> <br /> <center><a href="http://www.phoenixrisingpublications.ca" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="bannerphoenix.gif" width="400" height="108"></a></center><br> <br /> <p><font size=2>The person with BPD has lost his or her authentic self. He or she lives from and through a <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=36&category=22" target="_blank"><b> false self</a></b> and this false self does not know what it needs or wants. The false self -- <i>the borderline lost self</i> in a frantic search for a way to meet needs and avoid pain creates layers and layers of defense mechanisms - which are experienced as "feelings". The defense mechanisms of the <i>borderline false self</i> are experienced by the person with BPD as foreign and as coming inward for outside of "self" - as coming from others when the distress is really coming from within a part of them they are dissociated from and afraid of. Within the lostness of an unstable identity -- a lack of identity, often, a borderline is not aware that they need help. To them, life is just as it has always been and the hurts, the problems, the torments are everyone else's fault and or responsibility. Many borderlines do not have any understanding or self-awareness from which to "know" that they do indeed need help. And when in that kind of emotional pain and upheavel often nothing feels like help. For the borderline nothing offered as help is <b>good enough</b> until the borderline begins to (in therapy) engage the process that is the journey <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=19&category=23" target="_blank"><b>From False Self to Authentic Self</a></b>. </font></p> <br /> <hr> <p><font size=3>A.J.'s Audio Program <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=114&category=24" target="_blank"> <b>Borderline Splitting - Understanding for Loved Ones</a></b></font></p> <hr> <br /> <p><font size=2>Borderlines are not aware of how they feel (often) because they are lost and trapped in the walls and layers that have been built up to protect them. What was put in place through (often unconscious choices) to help ends up being more as hurtful as the original wounds. As the borderline gets older their mal adaptive defense mechanisms, especially in relation to others, continue to compound the damage that the borderline was originally trying to cope with and or escape in the first place. This leaves the borderline lost in a maze of cognitively distorted thoughts, illogical beliefs (often unquestioned) and in the throes of assumption after assumption. </font></p> <p><font size=2><b><i>Often, for many borderlines, anyone that tries to tell them anything different from what they "think" they know is seen as "lying to them".</i></b> This distorted belief that they are being lied to makes them totally resist what is actually truth that could be helpful to them if they could tolerate hearing it or if it could penetrate their defenses. </font></p> <p><font size=2>When someone is in the active throes of BPD -- remember-- he or she <b><i>really does not know who he/she is</i></b> Borderlines do not know what they want. They do not know what they value. They don't know what would work for them and what doesn't work for them. <i><b>They relate to the world from an emotionally young narcissistic parallel universe that is all about them even though essentially they don't have a strong sense of who they are without someone else to project their feelings and thoughts on to.</b></i> And borderlines do not know how to relate to others because they do not know how to relate to themselves. They are lost. It is a most profound and desolate barren place to be. It is full of emptiness and uncertainty. It drives borderlines to demand a rigid sense of order -- it may be disordered order, or ordered-chaos, but borderlines cling to maladaptive and unproductive (unhealthy patterns of relating) because in the absence of knowing <i>self</i> the patterns -- or expectations are all that they <b>do know</b>. Consequently, many borderlines develop extremely rigid expectations of those around them who they look to, clearly, to define themselves. <i><b>Anyone who gets close to a borderline represents the person from his or her past with or from whom they experienced</i></b> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=52&category=4" target="_blank"><b> the core wound of abandonment</a></b>. </font></p> <p><font size=2>The resistance to truth - or what seems so obvious to the onlooker - occurs because anything and everything that does not unfold according to the expectations of the borderline causes him or her to feel out of control and it exacerbates their underlying feeling of helplessness and their over-all inability to deal with their vulnerability. Anything and everything that in any way threatens a borderline's sense of "control" (as irrational and illusional as that sense of control may be) will be met with a lion share of resistance because it triggers him/her back to his/her original pain of the <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=52&category=4" target="_blank"><b>core wound of abandonment</a></b> -- which is most often an unresolved abandonment wound that leaves the borderline feeling as if he/she is being annihilated again in <i>the here and now</i> Really what is happening is that the borderline is re-experiencing feelings from the past in what has become a dissociative-pseudo reality triggered by perceived threat to a <i>self</i> that they have very little (if any) understanding of. </font></p> <p><font size=2>Another key reason borderlines are so resistant to help is often born out of the reality that, more often than not, they do not receive the help that they require. It is also very difficult to perceive that anything or anyone is "helping you" when all you feel is lost, helpless, out of control, unreal, and an incredible amount of emotional pain -- or for some borderlines the opposite -- an absence of felt pain which is replaced by an unabating sense of "numbness" of "nothingness" -- a feeling like they don't really exist and that whatever is happening isn't really happening. </font></p> <br /> <h1><b>What is it about the truth that they do not or cannot hear?</b></h1> <br /> <hr> <p><font size=3>A.J.'s Audio Program <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=114&category=24" target="_blank"> <b>Borderline Splitting - Understanding for Loved Ones</a></b></font></p> <hr> <br /> <p><font size=2>To experience "the truth" or any degree of the "truth" a borderline has to be able to contemplate and emotionally accept that there are possibilities and choices outside of the realm of his or her current understanding of things. Often trying to open to this leaves a borderline feeling totally out of control and extremely unsafe. Borderlines have, over time, developed a comfort with their un-ending emotional discomfort. They perceive or misperceive a tremendous amount relationally due to the <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=22&category=23" target="_blank"><b>Polarized Negativity</a></b> that precludes them from feeling hope or trusting information that is different what from what they <i>feel</i> or believe to be <i>true</i> in their own emotionally-parallel universe. </font></p> <p><font size=2>The borderline often believes that what they perceive and "know" is the truth -- in fact it definately is borderline truth -- and so when someone sets out to tell them the "truth" the borderline will often feel manipulated and lied to. Anything threatening can up the level of projection and transference on the part of the borderline. </font></p> <p><font size=2>Life in the pieces of borderline reality in the black and white "little snipets" of the big picture; within the reality of triggered-dissocation is not life as it unfolds for others in the "big picture" of the non borderline experience. Borderlines, emotionally and cognitively, live in a parellel universe. The language of relative emotional health and reasonable cognition is not <i>borderline language</i>. It is not that borderlines do not want to hear the truth it is that they do not speak the same language emotionally. Therefore, what they perceive to be true is often distorted at best and totally unrelated to the actual truth in the <i>here and now</i> at worst. The difference between non borderline truth and <i>borderline truth</i> is often a source of considerable <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=68&category=15" target="_blank"><b>rage</a></b> that can lead to a lot of pain for those <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=39&category=13" target="_blank"><b>on the other side of BPD</a></b> </font></p> <p><font size=2>The central issue in all of this is the borderline's unstable sense of self. Because the borderline does not know who he/she is or what he/she likes, wants or needs they are often not able to rationally distinguish between what is "truth" and what isn't. For many borderlines, living in the absence of a known self, the "truth" is whatever they decide it "should" be. The "truth" is what is convenient. The "truth" is often the lies and manipulations that borderlines re-enact in order to recapitulate their past to a point of understanding or to a point of a self-awareness that could break through the cognitive distortions and the illogical thoughts or the "stinking thinking". When one is "stinking thinking" the concept of truth is foreign. There is no stable sense of anything upon which to base a belief that <b>a</b> is true. If <b>b</b> is true then <b>a</b> is by association rendered untrue. </font></p> <p><font size=2>Borderlines can be extremely intellectually aware of themselves in many ways. What is not at par with that intellectual prowess is their emotional quotent (EQ). Borderlines are often lost and hurting children walking around in adult bodies. Can a child "hear the truth" if he/she cannot contemplate it? Can a child "hear the truth" before they've progressed through the a given stage of development? No, they cannot. This is where borderlines are often as misunderstood by others as they are lost to themselves. </font></p> <p><font size=2>The way in which I began to "hear the truth", when I was in recovery from BPD, was through emotionally maturing and staying open to the journey <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=19&category=23" target="_blank"><b>From False Self To Authentic Self</a></b> -- learning to re-parented my lost authentic self, both by myself, and by therapists upon finding that <i>self</i> and connecting to her in therapy. I had to be re-taught and re-educated about so much that I had learned that was maladaptive. I was not able to learn many things for long periods of time. I learned only after I wanted to badly enough -- and after I came to know that the pain I was in was far greater than the pain I was going to have to learn to endure and manage to change. <b><i>It was only by my enduring the distress of hearing the truth, my truth, the truth about how I had been in the world, how I had acted, how I had raged, how I had not cared about anyone but myself, and how I had treated everyone with the same love-hate I had experienced with my borderline parents that I was able to recover from BPD.</i></b> </font></p> <p><font size=2>When we can get to the truth, hear the truth and when we decide to deal with the truth as it is rather than make the truth be what we want it to be - the truth really will set us free. This is true for those with <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/Category/Ebooks_Borderline/" target="_blank"><b>BPD</a></b> and for those who love or care about someone with BPD. Non borderlines may well need to <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=26&category=24" target="_blank"><b>Break Free From the BPD Maze</a></b> and <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=93&category=4" target="_blank"><b>understand the impact of the core wound of abandonment</a></b> along with the <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=16&category=24" target="_blank"><b>puzzle and mystery of hope on the other side of BPD</a></b> in ways that will help them <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=29&category=24" target="_blank"><b>face 10 main key facts about BPD</a></b> and to <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=79&category=10" target="_blank"> <b>understand the borderline mind</a></b> in ways that can help you, if you are a non borderline, to face <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=82&category=15" target="_blank"><b> the dilemma on the other side of BPD and overcome denial about BPD and love</a></b>. Non borderlines need to find themselves again and maintain their own sanity. </font></p> <p><font size=2>Resistance is often seen by professionals whenever a patient or client doesn't do what the therapist wants them to do -- that is to say when certain hoped for outcomes can not be arrived at and achieved. Sometimes a person is simply not ready yet. Sometimes a person with BPD cannot hear "your truth" when you want/need them to anymore than you can relate to, tolerate, hear or bare their "truths" any longer. </font></p> <p><font size=2>My process, in my recovery from BPD, taught me that the truth is relative and that each person has to come to his/her own truth in his/her own time and way. In the meantime if you are a <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/Category/Ebooks_Non_Borderline/" target="_blank"><b> non borderline</a></b> and you are being adversly affected by a borderline you need to take care of yourself. You cannot influence a borderline to "want" to "hear the truth" as you see it anymore than you are going to continue to believe that the way you have been treated in trying to relate to a borderline is healthy. </font></p> <br /> <hr> <p><font size=3>A.J.'s Audio Program <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=114&category=24" target="_blank"> <b>Borderline Splitting - Understanding for Loved Ones</a></b></font></p> <hr> <br /> <p><font size=2>There is a bridge between the borderline and non borderline worlds. In order to walk on it and to cross it each side, <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/Category/Audio_Borderline/" target="_blank"><b>borderline</a></b> or <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/Category/Audio_Non_Borderline/" target="_blank"><b>non borderline</a></b> must learn to understand and practice his or her own personal responsibility. Each side must come to terms, first, with its own truth, and then try to meet in the middle of impossibility. Each side must be willing, ready and able to create <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=33&category=6" target="_blank"><b>Change and Healing</a></b>. If one side is not ready willing or able then they will not begin to cross the bridge upon which the other stands -- hoping, hurting, wanting and needing ... </font></p> <p><font size=2>Sometimes the reality is that the truth of the two worlds cannot be blended in a way that can create a healthier relationship or connection. Sometimes, regardless of the type of relationship - chosen or unchosen, one has with someone with BPD, the non borderline has to find his or her own <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=33&category=6" target="_blank"><b>Change and Healing</a></b> and leave the borderline to his or her own choices. Sometimes borderlines leave non borderlines first so they do not have to experience <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=20&category=6" target="_blank"><b>abandonment</a></b> and other times it is those who are non borderlines that have many <a href="" target="_blank"><b>lessons</a></b> they need to learn and heed in order to detach from and disengage the emotional roller coaster of borderline chaos and drama. </font></p> <p><font size=2>If a <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/Category/Ebooks_Borderline/" target="_blank"><b>borderline</a></b> continues to resist help and to resist or be unable to discearn the truth about his or her life and/or relationships he or she will remain in what I call the active throes of BPD. Those with BPD need to learn, sooner or later that they cannot be rescued and that they cannot find help unless and until they can accept personal responsibility. <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/Category/Ebooks_Non_Borderline/" target="_blank"><b>Non borderlines</a></b> need to know that when someone with BPD continues to resist help and truth it renders you powerless to effect change in that life no matter how much you love and/or care about him or her. Continuing to try to rescue a borderline from him or herself is painful and is continuing to risk losing yourself. </font></p> <p><font size=2>© Ms. A.J. Mahari - February 27, 2000 with additions November 17, 2008 </font></p> <br> <hr> <P><center><a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=34&category=10" target="window"><font color="#1775D5" size=2><b>3 Non Borderline Audio Programs Package $42.00</a></b></font></center></p> <hr> <br> <p><font size=2>A.J. Mahari is currently writing a memoir about her life and experience as a person who had two parents with Borderline Personality Disorder, as a person who was diagnosed herself with BPD at the age of 19 and from her perspective as someone who has recovered from BPD. There is a new section on her BPD Blog called <a href="http://borderlinepersonality.typepad.com/my_weblog/the_diary_my_borderline_years_aj_mahari/" target="window"> The Diary - My Borderline Years</a> where A.J. Mahari shares snipets of experience from her own life that is will give you just a taste of what her memoir will include.</font size></p> <br /> <p><center><a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=21&category=6" target="window"><u><b>The Shame of Abandonment in BPD</b></u></center></p> <p><center><a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=20&category=6" target="window"><u><b>BPD and Abandonment</b></u></a></center></p> <p><center><a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=79&category=10" target="window"><u><b>Inside The Borderline Mind - For Non Borderlines</b></u></a></center></p> <br /> <p><b>Audio Program <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=25&category=23" target="window">"Preparing For Recovery From BPD"</a> Parts 1 & 2</b> by A.J. Mahari</p> <p><b>Audio Program <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=31&category=23" target="window">Rage Addiction in BPD</a> by A.J. Mahari (sold separately or packaged with Mahari's Ebook, "Rage and BPD")</b></p> <br /> <hr /> <ul> <li><b>Purchase <a HREF="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=42&category=4">all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES</a></b></li> <li><b>Non Borderlines - You can purchase <a HREF="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=66&category=4">6 ebooks packaged together</a> with or without audio.</b></li> <li><b>Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase <a HREF="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=52&category=4">A.J. Mahari's 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks</a> packaged together with or without audio.</b></li></ul> <hr /> <br /> <br /> <P>No reproduction in whole or in part without the written consent of A.J. Mahari. To seek permission to re-produce anything on this site or to link anything on this site please email me at bpdinsideout@yahoo.ca - I do not give my consent for anything I've written to be re-produced on any other website without my expressed permission. If you wish to link to an article I've written please link directly to the article page on this site - thanks so much!</i><P> <br /> <P><center><IMG SRC="canada-s.gif" width="68" height="58"> <IMG SRC="canlogo.jpg" WIDTH=100 HEIGHT=16> <IMG SRC="canada-s.gif" width="68" height="58"></center></P> <br />   </p>  <div class="cleared"></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="art-layout-cell art-sidebar2"> <br /> <p><center><font size=2><b>BPD Coach A.J. Mahari</b></font></center></p> <br /> <center><object width="180" height="210"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Aw1jru-T2Og?hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Aw1jru-T2Og?hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="180" height="210"></embed></object></center> <br /> <p><center><font size=2><b>BPD - Feeling Alone</b></font></center></p> <br /> <center><object width="180" height="210"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/F-jCGZhMgS4?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/F-jCGZhMgS4?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="180" height="210"></embed></object></center> <br /> <font size=3>The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=35&category=22" target="_blank"> <img src="images/legacyabandoncover.png" width="180" height="210" alt="The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder" title="The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br> <br> <font size=3>The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=27&category=22" target="_blank"> <img src="images/abandonedpainbpdcover.png" width="180" height="210" alt="The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder" title="The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br> <br> <font size=3>Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance for BPD Family/Loved Ones</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=39&category=13" target="_blank"> <img src="images/othersideofbpdcover.png" width="180" height="210" alt="The Lost Self in BPD" title="Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance for Non Borderlines Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br> <br> <br> <br> <font size=3>Break Free From the BPD Maze - Recovery For Non Borderlines Audio Program</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=26&category=24" target="_blank"> <img src="images/breakingfreebpdmazecover.png" width="180" height="210" alt="The Lost Self in BPD" title="Break Free From the BPD Maze - Recovery For Non Borderlines Audio Program by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br> <br> <font size=3>5 Bundle Set Ebooks - Core Wound In BPD</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=208&category=4" target="_blank"> <img src="images/5cwaebooks.jpg" width="180" height="210" alt="5 Bundle Set Ebooks - Core Wound In BPD" title="5 Bundle Set Ebooks - Core Wound In BPD by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>Adult Child of BPD Mother in Search For Closure Audio</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=152&category=24" target="_blank"> <img src="images/adultchildbpdsearchclosurecover.jpg" width="180" height="210" alt="" title="Adult Child of BPD Mother in Search For Closure Audio by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <font size=3>A.J. Mahari’s Thought Changing Affirmations 5 Volume Set</font><font size=2> © A.J. Mahari</font> <p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=254&category=68" target="_blank"> <img src="images/affirmations5volsetcover.png" width="180" height="210" alt="The Lost Self in BPD" title="A.J. Mahari’s Thought Changing Affirmations 5 Volume Set BPD Ebook by A.J. Mahari" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> <center><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="none" data-via="ajmahari">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></center> </div> </div> </div> <div class="cleared"></div><div class="art-footer"> <div class="art-footer-inner"> <a href="#" class="art-rss-tag-icon" title="RSS"></a> <div class="art-footer-text"> <p><a href="http://ajmahari.ca/contact.php" target="_blank"><font size=2><u><b>Contact A.J.</a></b></u></font> | <a href="http://phoenixrisingpublications.ca" target="_blank"><font size=2><u><b>Products and Services</a></b></u></font> | <a href="http://phoenixrisinglifecoaching.com/ajmahari" target="_blank"><font size=2><u><b>A.J.'s Coach Blog</a></b></u></font> | <a href="http://ajmahari.ca" target="_blank"><font size=2><u><b>A.J.'s Central Website</a></b></u></font><br /> <font size=2><b>Copyright © A.J. Mahari 1995-2016. 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