Make a One Decision Not Just a New Years Resolution
Get MORE out of the upcoming year!
by Judith Wright
Every year the majority of us make a promise to ourselves that we will
change some habit we find unseemly – we make a New Year’s resolution. And
for a time, even if it is just a fleeting moment, we actually believe that
we will keep that promise. We will stop eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s
every time we have a bad day, we will only wear our workout pants when
we’re actually going to the gym, we will water the plants, eat nutritious
meals, and be at work on time. And this year, we’ll actually do it…Yeah,
right.
Soft Addictions Block New Years Resolutions
The problem with all New Year’s resolutions is that we expect ourselves,
in one fell swoop, to break the habitual cycles we have developed over
months, weeks and years. The behaviors we return to again and again – like
procrastinating, overeating, and watching hours of TV every day – can’t
just be wiped out cold turkey. More than just a bad habit, these behaviors
are actually Soft Addictions that are robbing us of the time, money, energy
and meaning we deserve.
New Years Resolutions Alone Don’t Work
The average New Year’s resolution lasts just three weeks, and for many
of us, that’s a stretch. It’s not that we don’t want to take these behaviors
out of our lives, it’s just that we’re going about it the wrong way. Trying
to make a “quick fix” every January 1st isn’t going to solve the problem.
To really make a change in your life – to find the MORE in life you are
looking for – takes more than a New Year’s resolution. It takes a commitment
to achieving the vision you see for your life.
What’s the Difference?
We make New Year’s resolutions to deal with the surface problems in our
lives – we want to lose weight, be more organized, make more money – and we
think that fixing this problem will make us happy. However, even if we do
achieve the surface goals, the deeper problems are still looming. Many of
us have lost weight or got the ‘right’ job or guy but have still been unhappy.
Make a One Decision
This year, I challenge you to make more than a resolution, make a “One
Decision.” The One Decision is your commitment to living a life of MORE. We all
face the decision between living deep, meaningful lives or surface, unconscious
ones. To make lasting change in our lives, we need to commit to one way of living
versus another. This is not just a decision. It is the One Decision that determines
the quality and direction of our life.
If you’re like most people, you probably don’t realize that the decision is yours
to make. We often go through life thinking, This is just the way it is. It seems the
best we can do is get by. We numb ourselves to the pain and just cope or get by. By
making a One Decision, you choose to pursue the greater MORE in life, more connection,
meaning, fulfillment, and satisfaction. And along the way you find more time, money,
and energy.
A One Decision does not mean you will never have Soft Addictions. That isn’t the
point. But the next time you find yourself mindlessly snacking or procrastinating by
gossiping for hours on end, you can recall your one decision and give yourself the
opportunity to shift or make a different choice.
A One Decision Example
The expression of a One Decision is personal and unique. But here is an example
of how one person expressed her decision.
I have decided. I have made the One Decision. I have decided to live an
exceptional life a conscious life, to fulfill my spiritual hungers to live deeply
to open myself to all life has to offer and greet it. I have decided to be open
to my feelings, to let them wash across my face. A life worth living is one where
all experiences are worthy of being experienced. I need not numb myself. I invite
it. I choose life!
Making Your One Decision
Here are several steps you can do to make your One Decision.
1. Reflect on your reasons.
Find a quiet spot to reflect on why you want to make a One Decision. Why do
you want more in life? What soft addictions or failed resolutions are getting
in your way? Do you have yearnings you want to fulfill? What excites you?
2. Identify your desires.
What do you want ore of in life—more life, love, meaning, feelings, intimacy,
connection, satisfaction, money, energy, passion? What would make your life a
well-lived life? Proclaim what you want more of by writing it down.
3. Claim your commitment.
Write down your personal commitment. Compose a paragraph expression your One
Decision. Use the previous two questions as raw material.
Be inspired with this quote from Jack London:
“I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out
in a brilliant flame than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a
superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow than a sleepy and permanent
planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my
days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time”
--Jack London
A One Decision is not meant to replace resolutions or the commitment to overcome
Soft Addictions, but it is a critical step towards success in achieving resolutions
and releasing Soft Addictions. Make this year count. As you start to think about
your resolutions, give yourself the gift of a One Decision.
There Must Be More Than This:
Finding More Life, Love and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addictions by
Judith Wright.
JUDITH WRIGHT is the national best-selling author of THERE MUST BE MORE THAN THIS:
Finding More Life, Love, and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addictions.
Called ‘one of the most sought after self-help gurus’ by the San Francisco Chronicle,
Judith has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning American, over 250 radio programs,
and in over 30 national magazines and newspapers.
To learn more about the One Decision and the other 8 key skills to living a life
of MORE, go to Judith Light's Web Site
as of January 3, 2005
