Projection is a process and the issues that we have
to process are exactly what we often project. Others
in life become mirrors reflecting back to us our
and weaknesses - our negative sense of self (usually 'false-self)
that we don't like about ourselves.
In order to stop this projection we must be able to
own our own experience and take responsibility for
ourselves. Buddhists believe, as John Ruskan, says
in his book, Emotional Clearing "One of the most
important principles of processing is the need to 'own'
experience. Because of suppression in the past, we
have created our Karma, the subsconscious reservoir
of negative energies, which we project outward and then
experience as being directed toward us from other persons
or circumstances.
These outside agencies act like mirrors reflecting back
our negativities. They are actors in the play we are directing.
They function precisely to bring up the suppressed feelings
we carry inside. That is the purpose we unconsciously assign
to them."
When we are confronted with negative experience or negative
energy we need to realize that we have created it. Often
our thoughts alone, create how we experience others. It
is key that we stop and own this because if we keep passing
it off as the issues or problems of others, over and over
again, we will never get off the merri-go-round that is
our own projection.
Projection often alienates borderlines from others either
because it is acted upon, someone else is blamed for your
issues, or your thoughts are such that you devalue someone
to the point of not wanting anything further to do with them.
The sad thing about this process is that what is actually
being devalued is someone from your past and that you add
to your here and now another loss that will have to be dealt
with at some point or it too will become fodder for what you
project in future.
Becoming aware of your projections is the first step
to doing something about them. Until you are aware of them
you will continue to react to them as you have for most,
if not all, of your life
Ruskan, in his book, Emotional Clearing describes
five different kinds of projection: (not merely assigned to
limited to those with BPD)
1) Dualistic Projection:
"In simple dualistic experience, there is no subconscious Karma at work."
2) Shadow Projection:
"Because we have cut ourselves off from parts of our inner self
by rejecting certain feelings, we then become sensitive to and even
attracted to qualities in others that remind us of those suppressed
emotional parts we are missing."
3) Clearing Projection:
"The next stage of projection is when we start having strong
feelings and think that some situation or person is making us feel
that way. We assign responsibility for our feelings to others."
4) Manifestation Projection:
"This level of projection occurs when the amount of subconsciously
suppressed energy builds to the point where we attract events and people
that correspond to the energy."
5) Spontaneous Clearing:
"The final way we create our experience comes about through no
external interaction but occurs during meditation, bodywork, breathwork
or anytime."
In Borderline Personality Disorder there is a tremendous amount of "Manifestation Projection". In this type of projection we attract to us what we fear most. If our biggest fear (core issue or core wound) is abandonment, for example, we will attract to ourselves someone who really does abandon us. Simply being aware of these patterns is not enough to break them. Ruskan says that we must first clear the energy associated with the pattern in order to stop the repititve cycle of any pattern associated with manifestation projection. He calls this as "repetition complusion" which is
a form of projection in and of itself. Our Higher Self continues to manifest these repeating situations and or people in our lives which in the East has been known for centuries as Karma.
Ruskan argues that it is not so much our core beliefs or even
our thoughts that drives our Karma as it is the surpresses energies that are associated with our past negative experiences. Experiences,that in the context of Buddhism, may well pre-date this lifetime and be rooted in a past life.
In order to process the situations, people, experiences and
feelings that come up from our surpressed negative energy, in the here and now, we must stop looking back to the past and stop
looking for the reasons why we feel as we do or why we are
encountering the difficulties that we are in life and or relating. Ruskan theorizes that when we stop to try to reason why or to further analyze what is going on we take ourselves out of the feelings. It is only through feeling what the surpressed energy holds that we can "clear" it, release it and free ourselves from being tied to it via projection and Karma.
So, the process of projection involves feeling your feelings.
It also involves a willingness to experience the negative enery
that you must experience, and feel in order to release from your
body and mind. The process of feeling your feelings will allow
you to move through them in such a way that they are not only
released but that you will come to some clear understanding about them. However, this understanding is usually met with after the feelings and accompanying negative energies have been released. This is why, especially for those with BPD, getting to what you feel and finding healthy ways to feel and grieve that pain is the way to change your life. Recovery begins with the first tear shed and snowballs with the rivers of tears that your soul needs you to set free.
The process of projection is an experiential journey of
self-discovery and understanding that can only be realized by
facing the pain that you have surpressed from your past by feeling it today. There comes a time when dredging up your past in therapy cannot serve anymore useful purpose in the absense of the grieving of the pain that you had and couldn't feel and process in your past.
The good news is that, although, all of us, even in the absence of Borderline Personality Disorder, do project now and again, it is a wonderful way to learn more about yourself. The key thing is to accept personal responsibility for your behaviour and actions. You do not have to live your life with everyone you try to relate to being a raw mirror image of your worst past (surpressed) pain. You must first face your pain
in order to gain more insight and awareness into it. Stop running, stop hiding, turn and face that pain, your here and now longs to be free to face each one of your tomorrows with both feet firmly planted each un-folding moment of your life instead of being firmly and painfully planted in your past.
It is through your awareness of your pain, the releasing
of it that you can then integrate past surpressed negative
energy into your present life. This extincts the need to
compulisvely repeat painful patterns.
Read more about (or purchase)the book, Emotional Clearing by John Ruskan (founder of Integrative
Processing Therapy)
© A.J. Mahari, December 16, 2001
as of January 5, 2002
