Based on what my therp said, definitely yes. It is like a volcano, coming
out of nowhere and leaving devastation in its wake. I am engulfed, and
sometimes I take others with me.
V
I experience rage probably from feelings of insecurity, fear of
rejection and abandonment threatening my existence. I don't rage
against just anyone. I only become full of rage and explode to the
person that means the most to me, i.e., my husband. I have committed
myself to him and he is supposedly committed to me. In that context,
I can't accept any feeling of insecurity, abandonment that creeps in
to threaten my 'perfect' existence. I am in terror of losing
him.....so I explode into rage at any threat of this...to show him
how much he means to me and how I absolutely
cannot take this. He tries to calm me by letting me run thru my
steam...he has let me strike out at him and has restrained me by
holding my arms and trying to talk to me. When I run out of gas, he
is the one to apologize, hold me, pet me and reassure me. He knows
how insecure I am. How does this leave me feeling?: miserable,
disgusted, exhausted, relieved, remorseful, ashamed, stupid, but better.
Diane
i've had episodes of rage, but lately they've only happened while
i was drunk(but ive more or less quit drinking) but i would break
my knuckles from punching walls out and i would cut my head alot
from ramming it through doors and stuff, god it even scares me to
think about the way i was....but now i just take it all out on myself,
i dont want anyone to think of me as a bad or crazy person so i
just completely distance myself from my emotions while in
public, or at least try to.....
Troy
Yes, I rage. When I rage I punch walls and throw things and I
often say things that are very mean. I hear myself but it feels like
it's not really me somehow. I yell and scream at whoever is around or
whoever I think hurt me or didn't pay attention to me. I hit myself too.
I also cut, at times, and I eat. Food is really what I turn to now
when I feel anything, but especially when I am enraged.
Acting the way I do when I rage leaves me feeling stupid, lousy,
and like I don't deserve to be even talked to. I know that it is wrong
I just can't stop it. It is the way that my parents were at home too,
I just don't know what else to do. Anyway, after I rage I am really
embarrassed and don't want to see those people ever again.
Cindy
I rage because I hurt. I rage because I am not happy. I rage
because nothing ever works out for me. I rage because I don't know
what else to do and that makes me mad and then I rage more.
After I rage I want to be left alone. I don't want lectures and
I don't want to be told it's okay or that it will be okay...nothing
feels okay. I feel stupid and hopeless after I rage. I get depressed,
and I just want to die sometimes after I push people away with my
rages. People just don't understand and then they get mad at me
and that starts it all over again.
anon.
Having suppressed most of my feelings since childhood, the one thing I do
feel on a regular basis is rage. I find that when my rage is triggered it is
directly connected to those trapped emotions. When I am in that mode, I feel
out of control and it takes a great deal of self-discipline to not get
violent. The out of control feeling is predominant, because I can hear
myself telling me not to get so upset, but the feelings overwhelm the
intellect. When the rage passes, I feel exhausted, usually have a headache
and extremely remorseful.
Claudine
Borderline's on Trust
