AJ's Response:
Sorry to hear that you had to end your relationship.
The first thing to consider is that before you can
truly know what your, now, ex's problem is, he must
be diagnosed by a professional. If he refuses to do
this then you may not help yourself by speculating.
Since you've chosen to end the relationship, you
know it was not working for you. It would be in your
best interest now to focus on yourself, rather than
your ex.
That said, there is very little that anyone can
do if someone who needs help refuses to get or accept
it. Perhaps by listening to him, still, you are
enabling him to avoid seeking the professional help
he may truly need. You might consider withdrawing as
a support person since it sounds as if the support
only goes one way. Also, if you have ended the
relationship you may want to consider re-evaluating
you boundaries to better-meet your own needs. Your
ex is responsible for meeting his own needs.
I don't have any idea what you can do. As I say,
I suspect that there isn't anything you can do for
him. You can, however, choose to take care of yourself.
If you fear for his life in any given threatening
situation you may consider calling the police if he
is a threat to himself. Otherwise, his survival is
really his responsibility.
This may sound cold but to continue to try to
"save" him or "rescue" him is just holding you in
a place where the toll you are suffering will continue
to mount.
This response is © A.J. Mahari
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This page/section was moved from Soul's Self-Help Central October 13, 2002 and
is © Ms. A.J. Mahari (& Borderlinepersonality.ca (.org) 2000-2007
was last up-dated July 29, 2007
