Well sadness is a part of life for all of
us. Borderlines tend to feel this much more
acutely when they feel it. They tend to perceive
it in extremes, ie, like it will last forever.
There is a difference between sadness and depression
Depression itself can be something that just comes
on for no apparent reason. Sadness is a very healthy
response to sad or hurtful or disappointing experiences
in life. Despair is a lack of hope -- feeling hopeless.
Your doctor might have used that term if what
you shared indicated a loss of hope or some level
of hopelessness that has become more pervasive and
not just fleeting brief episodes associated with
Think about where your level of hope or lack
of hope is. That will be an indication of whether
or not you are truly experiencing despair.
Despair is often experienced in tandem with
deep and profound "original pain". It can be
worked through but one must be prepared to do
the work and to grieve. Crying a river is
a major way to recover from despair because
it will free up your hope over and over again.
Hang in there. Keep working. Stay true to your
process. The only way out of the pain is to go
through the pain to the other side.
This response is © A.J. Mahari
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This page/section was moved from Soul's Self-Help Central October 13, 2002 and
is © Ms. A.J. Mahari (& Borderlinepersonality.ca (.org) 2000-2007
was last up-dated July 29, 2007