GOALS OF EMOTION REGULATION TRAINING
1. UNDERSTAND EMOTIONS YOU EXPERIENCE
*Identify (observe and describe) emotion
*Understand what emotions do for you.
2. REDUCE EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY
*Decrease negative vulnerability (vulnerability to emotion mind)
*Increase positive emotions
3. DECREASE EMOTIONAL SUFFERING
*Let go of painful emotions through mindfulness.
*Change painful emotions through opposite action.
EMOTION REGULATION HANDOUT 2: MYTHS ABOUT EMOTIONS
1. There is a right way to feel in evey situation.
CHALLENGE ___________________________________________________________
2. Letting others know that I am feeling bad is weakness.
CHALLENGE ___________________________________________________________
3. Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
CHALLENGE ___________________________________________________________
4. Being emotional means being out of control.
CHALLENGE ___________________________________________________________
5. Emotions can just happen for no reason.
CHALLENGE ___________________________________________________________
6. Some emotions are really stupid.
CHALLENGE ___________________________________________________________
7. All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
CHALLENGE _________________________________________________________
8. If others don't approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn't feel the
way I do.
CHALLENGE _________________________________________________________
9. Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
CHALLENGE _________________________________________________________
10. Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
CHALLENGE _________________________________________________________
DBT EMOTION REGULATION HANDOUT 4: WAYS TO DESCRIBE EMOTIONS
LOVE WORDS
love, adoration, affection, arousal, attraction. caring, charmed,
compassion, desire, enchantment, fondness, infatuation, kindness, liking,
longing, lust, passion, sentimentality, sympathy, tenderness, warm
Prompting Events for Feeling Love
A person offers or gives you something you want, need, or desire.
A person does things you want or need the person to do.
You spend a lot of time with a person.
You share a special experience together with a person.
You have exceptionally good communication skills with a person.
Interpretation That Prompt Feelings of Love
Beliveing that a person loves, needs or appreciates you.
Thinking a person is physically attractive.
Judging a person't personality as wonderful, pleasing or attractive.
Believing that a person can be counted on, will always be there for you.
Experiencing the Emotion of Love
When with someone or thinking about someone:
Feeling excited and full of energy.
Fast heartbeat.
Feeling and acting self-confident.
Feeling invulnerable.
Feeling happy, joyful, or exuberant.
Feeling warm, trusting, and secure.
Feeling relaxed and calm.
Wanting the best for a person.
Wanting to give things to a person.
Wanting to see and spend time with a person.
Wanting physical closeness or sex.
Wanting closeness.
Expressing and Acting on Love
Saying "I love you"
Expressing positive feelings to a person.
Eye contact, mutual gaze.
Touching, petting, hugging, holding, cuddling.
Smiling.
Sharing time and experiences with someone.
Doing things that the other person wants or needs.
Aftereffects of Love
Only being able to see a person's positive side.
Feeling forgetful or distracted; daydreaming.
Feeling openeness, and trust.
Remembering other times and people you have loved.
Remembering other people who have loved you.
Remembering and imagining other positive events.
EMOTION REGULATION HANDOUT 4: WAYS TO DESCRIBE EMOTIONS (B)
JOY WORDS
joy, amusement, bliss, cheerfulness, contentment, delight, eagerness,
ectasy, elation, enjoyment, entrharllment,
enthusiasm, euphoria, excitement, exhilaaration, gaiety, gladness, glee,
happiness, hope, jolliness, joviality, jubilation,
optimism, pleasure, pride, rapture, relief, satisfaction, thrill, triumph,
zaniness, zest, zeal,
PROMPTING EVENTS FOR FEELING JOY
Being successful at a task
Achieving a desirable outcome.
Getting what you want
Receiving esteem, respect or praise
Getting something you have worked hard for or worried about
Receiving a wonderful surprise
Things turning out better that you thought they would
Reality exceeding your expectations
Doing things that create or bring to mind pleasurable sensations
Being accepted by others
Belonging (being around or in contact with people who accept you)
Receiving love, liking, or affection
Being with or in contact with people who love or like you.
INTERPRETATIONS THAT PROMPT FEELINGS OF JOY
Interpreting joyful events just as they are, without adding or subtracting.
Other: ________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
EXPERIENCING THE EMOTION OF JOY
Feeling excited
Feeling physically energetic, active or "hyper"
Feeling like giggling or laughing
Feeling your face flush
EXPERIENCING OR ACTING ON JOY
Smiling
Having a bouncy, glowing face.
Communicating your good feelings.
Sharing the feeling
Hugging people
Jumping up and down
Saying positive things
Using an enthusiastic or excited voice
Being talkative or talking a lot
Others: _____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
AFTEREFFECTS OF JOY
Being courteous or friendly to others
Doing nice things for other people
Having a positive outlook, seeing the bright side
Having a high threshold for worry or annoyance
Remembering and imaginging other times you have felt joyful
Expecting to feel joyful in the future
Others: ___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
ANGER WORDS
anger, aggravation, agititation, annoyance, bitterness, contempt, cruelty,
destructiveness, disgust, dislike, envy,
exasperation, ferocity, frustration, fury, grouchiness, grumptiness, hate,
hostility, irritation, jealously, loathing,
mean-spiritedness, outrage, rage,resentment, revulsion, scorn, spite,
torment, vengefulness, wrath,
PROMPTING EVENTS FOR FEELING ANGER
Losing power
Losing status
Losing respect
Being insulted
Not having things turn out the way you expected
Experiencing physical pain
Experiencing emotional pain
Being threatened with physical or emotional pain by someone or something
Having an important or pleasureable activity interuppted, postponed or
stopped
Not obtaining something you want (which another person has)
Other __________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
INTERPRETATIONS THAT PROMPT FEELINGS OF ANGER
Expecting pain
Feeling that you have been treated unfairly
Believing that things should be different
Rigidly thinking "I'm right"
Judging that the situation is illegitimate, wrong or unfair
Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place, or in
the past
Other: ______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
EXPERIENCING THE EMOTION OF ANGER
Feeling incoherent
Feeling out of control
Feeling extremely emotional
Feeling tightness or rigidity in your body
Feeling your face flush or get hot
Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort
Feeling like you are going to explode
Muscles tightening
Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening
Crying: being unable to stop tears
Wanting to be hit, bang the wall, throw something, blow up
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
EXPRESSING AND ACTING ON ANGER
Frowning or not smiling, mean or unpleasant facial expression
Gritting or showing your teeth in an unfriendly manner
Grinning
A red or flushed face
Verbally attacking the cause of your anger: criticizing
Physically attacking the cause of your anger
Using obscenities or cursing
Using a loud voice, yelling or screaming or shouting
Complaining or bitching, talking about how lousy things are
Clenching your hands or fists
Making aggressive or threatening gestures
Pounding on something, throwing things, breaking things
Walking heavily or stomping, slamming doors, walking out
Brooding or withdrawing from contact with others
Others: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
AFFTEREFFECTS OF ANGER
Narrowing of attention
Attending only to the situation making you angry
Ruminating about the situation making you angry, and not being able to think
of anything else
Remembering and ruminating about other situations that have made you angry
in the past
Imagining future situations that will make you angry
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness
Intense shame, fear or other negative emotions
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
SADNESS WORDS
Sadness, agony, alienation, anguish, crushed, defeat, dejection, depression,
despair, disappointment, discontentment,
dismay, displeasure, distraught, gloom, glumness, grief, homesickness,
hoplessness, hurt, insecurity, isolation,
lonliness, melancholy, misery, neglect, pity, rejection, sorrow, suffering,
unhappiness, woe,
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
PROMPTING EVENTS FOR FEELING SADNESS
Things turning out badly
Getting what you don't want
Not getting what you want and believe you need in life, thinking about what
have not gotten that you wanted or needed
Not getting what you have worked for
Things being worse than you expected
The death of someone you love, thinking about deaths of people you love
Losing a relationship, thinking about losses
Being seperated from someone you care for or value, thinking about how much
you miss someone
Being rejected or excluded
Being disapproved of or disliked; not being valued by people you care about
Discovering that you are powerless or helpless
Being with someone else who is sad, hurt or in pain
Reading other people's problems or troubles in the world
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
INTERPRETATIONS THAT PROMPT FEELINGS OF SADNESS
Believing that a seperation from someone will last for a long time or will
never end
Believing that you are worthless or not valuable
Believing that you will not get what you want or need in your life
Hopeless Beliefs
EXPERIENCING THE EMOTION OF SADNESS
Feeling tired, run-down, or low in energy
Feeling lethargic, listless, wanting to stay in bed all day
Feeling as if nothing is pleasurable anymore
Feeling a pain or hollowness in your chest or gut
Feeling empty
Crying, tears, whimpering
Feeling as if you can't stop crying, or feeling that if you ever start
crying, you will never be able to stop
Difficulty swallowing
Breathlessness
Dizziness
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
EXPRESSING AND ACTING ON SADNESS
Frowning, not smiling
Eyes drooping
Sitting or lying around, being inactive
Making slow, shuffling movements
A slumped drooping posture
Withdrawing from social contact
Talking little or not at all
Using a low, quiet, slow, or monotonous voice
Saying sad things
Giving up and no longer trying to improve
Moping, brooding, or acting moody
Talling to someone about sadness
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
AFTER-EFFECTS OF SADNESS
Feeling irritable, touchy, or grouchy
Having a negative outlook, thinking only about the negative side of things
Blaming or critizing yourself
Remembering or imagining other times you were sad and other losses
Hopeless attitude
Not being able to remember happy things
Fainting spells
Nightmares
Insomnia
Appetite disturbance, indigestion
Yearning and searching for the thing lost
Depersonalization, dissociative experiences, numbness or shock
Anger, shame, fear, or negative emotions
Other: _______________________________________________________________
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Emotion Regulation Handout 4: Ways to Describe Emotions: FEAR
fear, apprehension, anxiety, distress, dread, edginess, fright, horror,
hysteria, jumpiness, nervousness, overwhelmed, panic,
shock, tenseness, terror, uneasiness, worry,
PROMPTING EVENTS FOR FEELING FEAR
Being in a new or unfamilar situation
Being alone (eg. walking alone, being home alone, living alone)
Being in the dark
Being in a situation where you have been threatened or gotten hurt in the
past, or where painful things have happened
Being in a situation somewhat like one where you were threatened or got hurt
in the past, or where painful things have happened
Being in a situation where you have seen other people be threatened, get
hurt, or have something painful happen
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
INTERPRETATIONS THAT PROMPT FEELINGS OF FEAR
Believing that someone might reject you, criticize, dislike or disapprove of you
Believing that failure is possible, expecting to fail
Believing that you will not get help you want or believe you need
Believing that you might lose help and assistance you already have
Believing that you might lose someone or something you want
Losing a sense of control, believing that you are helpless
Losing a sense of mastery or competence
Believing that you might be hurt or harmed, or that you might lose something valuable
Believing that you might die, or that you are going to die
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
EXPERIENCING THE EMOTION OF FEAR
Sweating or perspiring, Feeling nervous, jittery, or jumpy, Shaking,
quivering, or trembling, Darting eyes or quickly looking around, Choking
sensation, lump in throat, Breathlessness, breathing fast, Muscles tensing,
cramping, Diarrhea, vomiting
Feeling of heaviness in stomach, Getting cold, Hair erect
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
EXPRESSING AND ACTING ON FEAR
Engaging in nervous, fearful talk
A shaky or trembling voice
Crying or whimpering
Screaming or yelling
Pleading or crying for help
Fleeing or running away
Running or walking hurriedly
Hiding from or avoiding what you fear
Trying not to move
Talking less or becoming speechless
Frozen stare
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
AFTER-EFFECTS OF FEAR
Losing your ability to focus or becoming disoriented
Being dazed
Losing control
Remembering other threatening times, other times when things did not go well
Imagining the possibility of more loss or failure
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness, or shock
Intense anger, shame, or other negative emotions
SHAME WORDS
shame, contrition, culpability, discomposure, embarrassement, guilt,
humilation, insult, invalidation, mortification regret, remorse
PROMPTING EVENTS FOR FEELING SHAME
Doing (feeling, or thinking) something you ( or people you admire) believe is wrong or immoral
Being reminded of something wrong, immoral, or "shameful" you did in the past
Having others find out that you have done something wrong
Being laughed at, made fun of
Being criticized in public, in front of someone else, remembering public
criticism
Others attacking your integrity
Being betrayed by a person you love
Being rejected by people you care about
Failing at something you feel are (or should be) competent to do
Being rejected or criticized for something you expected praise for
Having emotions that have been invalidated
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
INTERPRETATION THAT PROMPT FEELINGS OF SHAME
Beliving your body or body part is too big, too small or not the right size
Thinking that you are bad, immoral or wrong
Thinking that you have not lived up to your expectations of yourself
Thinking that you have not lived up to other's expectations of you
Thinking that your behavior, thoughts or feelings are silly or stupid
Judging yourself to be inferior, "not good enough", not as good as others
Comparing yourself to others and thinking that you are a "loser"
Believing yourself unlovable
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
EXPERIENCING THE EMOTION OF SHAME
Pain in the pit of the stomach
Sense of dread
Crying, tears, sobbing
Blushing, hot, red face
Wanting to hide or cover your face
Jitteriness, nervousness
Choking sensation, suffocating
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
EXPERIENCING AND ACTING ON SHAME
Withdrawing, covering the face, hiding
Bowing your head, kneeling before the person, groveling
Eyes down, darting eyes
Avoiding the person you have harmed or the people who know you have done
wrong
Sinking back, slumped posture
Saying you are sorry, apologizing
Asking for forgiveness
Giving gifts, trying to make up for the transgression
Trying to repair the harm, fix up the damage, change the outcome
Other: _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
AFTER-EFFECTS OF SHAME
Avoiding thinking about your transgression, shutting down, blocking all emotion
Engaging in distracting, impulsive behaviors to divert your mind or attention
Believing you are defective
Making resolutions to change
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness or shock
Intense anger, sadness, fear, or other negative emotions
Isolation, feeling alienated
Other: _______________________________________________________________
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OTHER IMPORTANT EMOTION WORDS
Interest, excitement, curiosity, pique, intrigue
Weariness, dissatisfaction, disinclination
Shyness, fragility, reserve, bashfulness, coyness, reticence
Cautiousness, reluctance, suspiciousness, caginess, wariness
Surprise, amazement, astonishment, awe, startle, wonder
Boldness, bravery, courage, determination
Powerfulness, a sense of competence, capability, mastery
Apathy, boredom, dullness, ennui, fidgetiness, impatience, indifference,
listlessness
Other: _______________________________________________________________
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