Archive for the ‘Recovery’ Category

BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, in an excerpt from a workshop she gave to a group of her BPD clients, addresses the importance of the inner child in recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. For people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder integrating this wounded part of self is central to recovery.

Many people who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder are not aware that much of the emotional pain that is so pervasive in their lives has its roots in the core wound of abandonment. An abandonment wound or intra-psychic injury that is suffered by the inner child part of self..

This part of self, the inner child, is then dissociated from as the defense mechanisms that are the hallmark of BPD and that are necessary for emotional and psychological survival cause a separation from what was the burgeoning authentic self and the false self that rises up in its absence.

In the audio program, From False Self To Authentic Self in BPD – Getting In Touch With Your Inner Child A.J. Mahari explores the reality of the false self in Borderline Personality Disorder and the healing reality of the connection to one’s inner child. In much more detail and providing even more insight, Mahari describes why it is so important to get in touch with his or her inner child and his or her abandoned pain and how that is central to recovery.

© A.J. Mahari, May 21, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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Life Coach and BPD Coach A.J. Mahari, in an excerpt from a workshop about Psychosocial skills, talks about how and why these skills are important for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. The reality that learning psychosocial skills is part of recovery from BPD. Mahari also talks about the main obstacle blocking the learning of these psychosocial skills when someone has Borderline Personality Disorder.

The term psychosocial refers to your psychological development in and interaction with a social environment. The term psychosocial was first commonly used by psychologist Erik Erikson in his 8 stages of social development and his life-stages of development in which he notes that development continues throughout the course of one’s life.

Difficulties that occur in one’s psychosocial functioning can be referred to as “psychosocial dysfunction that refers to the lack of development or atrophy of the psychosocial self. These difficulties can arise from other dysfunctions that may be physical, emotional, or cognitive in origin.

 Psychosocial skills allow us to age-appropriately interact with, perceive, and relate to others in situationally-appropriate ways within reasonable boundaries.

Psychosocial skills include:

• your ability to appropriately experience, display, and perceive emotional states in ways that are in balance with your age and stage of life
• being able to relate to events and the environment, or any changes in the environment, in and from flexible balanced emotional experience – emotional experience that is modulated and regulated from the inside out
• involve communication skills – including listening skills
• ability to cooperatively and consistently interact and function within an age-appropriate and socially meaningful context
• implementing and learning skills in ways that support recovery – engaging your personal journey that involves developing hope, a secure base and sense of self, supportive relationships, empowerment, social inclusion, self soothing and general coping skills, along with purpose and  meaning.

• Purchase all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES or 3 Non Borderline Ebooks packaged together with audio.
• Non Borderlines – You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together without audio or 6 ebooks bundled together with 2 audio programs 6 ebooks packaged together with 2 audio programs
• Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound of Abandonment” series ebooks or Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound of Abandonment” series ebooks with From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD – The Inner Chid Audio Program
• Purchase all 5 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD Ebooks or 3 Non Borderline Ebooks packaged together with audio.

Healthy and balanced psychosocial skills require a stable sense of self – knowing and trusting a self with boundaries and a healthy differentiation between that self and others. Psychosocial skills aim to nuture emotional health, balance, maturity, emotional and self mastery along with self-efficacy.

Self

Recovery of a durable sense of self - a known self - your authentic self - the self that is lost to the arrested psychological development experienced by people who end up being diagnosed with BPD is at the center of developing an emotional and cognitive balance that lends itself to mental health. Those with BPD need to learn how to nurturing personal psychological space that allows room for developing understanding and a broad sense of self, interests, and values. This process of recovery and the learning, practice, and incorporaton of psychosocial skills education for those with BPD is usually greatly facilitated by experiences of interpersonal acceptance, mutuality, and a sense of social belonging which can be challenging in the face of the typical barrage of overt and covert negative messages that come from the broader social context and stigma about mental illness, generally, and Borderline Personality Disorder, specifically.

Empowerment and Inclusion

Empowerment and self-determination are important to recovery. For those with BPD what is especially important, after finding one’s authentic self is learning how to have self control – how to regulate your own emotions. This involves developing confidence in your newly-found self and learning to trust your decision making and help-seeking. Achieving social inclusion means coming to terms with the stigma and prejudice that exists about mental illness and its misunderstood differences. Stigma and prejudice that those with mental illness internalize in ways that are then turned against the self in what can be self-criticism and a lack of patience with self. Empowering yourself also involves learning and practicing psychosocial skills.

Coping strategies

The development of personal coping strategies such as emotion regulation and boundaries are central elements to learning to cope more effectively. Developing coping and problem solving skills to manage individual traits and emotional challenges involves you actively becoming engaged in learning to recognize and identify key stress points and possible crisis points – being mindful and aware in radically accepting ways that will enhance your awareness and  understanderstanding of your own needs and assist you in developing personal ways of responding and coping.

Purpose and Meaning

Finding purpose comes with getting to know your authentic self. The more you can learn and practice psychosocial skills the more you will be aware of who you authentically are. Developing a sense of meaning is important for sustaining yourself during and after your recovery process.  

People with Borderline Personality Disorder will continue to experience major challenges in learning and being able to incorporate psychoskills in the process of recovery until they can find that lost self inside. It is truly the central most  important aspects of recovery. Once that self starts to become more known progress from that point speeds up, things make more sense and coping is enhanced the stronger one’s sense of self becomes.

© A.J. Mahari, May 12, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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Life Coach and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, talks about the good news of the pain that is so formidable in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). For most people with BPD there is a profound amount of emotional pain. Pain that isn’t well tolerated. Pain that they do not have the emotional maturity or emotional skills to effectively cope with in healthy ways. Pain is not the negative that most with BPD think it is and experience it as being. It is experienced negatively because it is thought of and perceived as being negative.

Pain is a necessary part of recovery.

• 3 Non Borderline Ebooks
• 5 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD Series Ebooks
• 6 Non Borderline Ebooks
• 3 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD Series of Ebooks
• Punishment and Revenge in BPD
• Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life

Ebooks © A.J. Mahari

How you think about your pain will determine how you experience it. In as much as the pain of abandonment is central to BPD, so too is it central to recovery from BPD.

Each step of the way, along the road to recovery, from Borderline Personality Disorder, this pain will increase each and every time anyone with BPD gets close to gaining more awareness and increasing his or her understanding of what he or she needs to heal.

Recovery from BPD isn’t about getting rid of this pain or escaping this pain, it is about learning to effectively cope with this pain and to radically accept this pain. Coming to understand that the pain of BPD can be a catalyst for healing and recovery will help you to shift your perception of it in ways that will help you to shift your experience of your pain.

• The Puzzle and Mystery of Hope on the Other Side of BPD
• Inside The Borderline Mind
• The Shame of Abandonment In BPD
• Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Nons
• Facing the Facts of BPD – On The Other Side For Nons
• Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love

   Audio Programs For Loved Ones of BPD © A.J. Mahari

The pain of BPD is a gift when you open to it. Understanding your pain, connecting to the source of that pain – the lost authentic self – and learning to accept that pain is central to recovery.

© A.J. Mahari, May 11, 2010 – All rights reserved.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a formidale challenge labelled a pathology that essentially means, if you have it, you are a human being who has been wounded and who is emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually out of balance. Finding hope is an act of faith. A surrender. It is radically accepting what is one moment at a time. Trusting that in each moment your perfect speed is just being there. Being in your there as fully present to it as you can be. Life Coach and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari has a new episode in her BPD Inside Out Podcast to inspire and motivate those with BPD to find hope.

There is so much reason to hope. If you don’t have hope right now then begin to search for it. Dare to desire it. Be open to it. Hope and know that you can find the middle-ground that will bring with it the balance that you need, the paradox of life that is healthier experience. Borderline Personality Disorder can be cured. When you recover from it, you are cured. It’s not magic. It is possible. It takes work and dedication, commitment and taking personal responsibility. It means coping with, facing, and releasing loss and grief in healthy ways. You can do it, I did.

So much of the experience of your life when you have Borderline Personality Disorder is polarized, all-good, or all-bad. You likely feel like you are not okay or something about your life is not okay. What do you feel when I say to you here, you are okay, right where you are, as you are, in this moment, because it is where you are. Perfect speed is just being there.

Like Richard Bach’s main character in the book,  Jonathan Livingston Seagull, you, as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, need to embrace a desire to learn. To be like Jonathan was, to a degree. To want to learn to fly higher faster and in more elaborate patterns. To accept that you might benefit most from marching to the beat of your own drummer, as Jonathan did. Everythign in moderation, however. The more Jonathan pushed himself to learn how to fly way higher and way faster the more his Elder tried to emphasize to him that, “perfect speed is just being there”.

Sometimes perfect speed is just being there for a difficult triggered and emotionally dysregulated moment, one moment at a time. The more you have hope and the more you radically accept that “okay-ness” of each moment the more you can move to a conscious awareness of how significant it is that you are present to the moment, no matter what the moment unfolds.

You are a person with worth, just because you are. And you are, you exist and matter, even when you may well not know who you really are in a stable-sense-of-known-self way. That’s okay. That’s what is right now for you. Pefect speed is just being there.

Does this mean that you are stuck with BPD forever? Absolutely not! There is a legacy of abandonment in BPD that you need to address in your life and that you will need treatment for and that treatment and your process of learning and understanding can be augmented with working with a life coach like myself as well.

Recovery from BPD is possible. Hope is a key ingredient in the process of that journey. The journey that is one from false self to authentic self. Remember, if you have BPD, even if you are new to this diagnosis, or new to facing it, if you are a BPD beginner so to speak, the mountain that stands in front of you to climb is not really bigger than the mountain the next person has to climb. Life is about climbing the mountains that are the obstacles we face. Mountains always appear more daunting if you think you can’t climb them. There will always be mountains. What conquers mountains is the steady climber who has faith. The climber who has hope. The climber who rather than bemoan the mountain or feel sorry for him/herself just gets on with the business of radically accepting the mountain and who mindfully then envisions a pathway to its peak – a pathway to authentic self. A pathway to a recovery that cannot be understood at the foot of the mountain but that will become more understandable on the journey up that mountain. At the mountain’s peak, each mountain’s peak, in your life is another goal or dream to realize. What is crucial on your mountain climb, as you aim for the goal of recovery, is to become more aware of what and how you are thinking.

Mindful thinking that is radically accepting of what is, is the perfect speed of just being there, present to the unfolding moment for what it is and not with thought invested in what you don’t like about it or what you wish it was instead.

Choose to seek and be open to hope and choose to face your abandoned pain, your  shame and to heal your abandonment wounds one moment at a time. One small step at a time, mindfully, purposefully and safe in the knowledge that perfect speed is just being there, wherever your there is right now.

The perfect speed of just being there, one moment at a time, is often what is perceived as a lack of movement, perhaps even feeling stuck. Stand still. Be stuck. Experience that stuckness. In that moment it too is the perfect speed of just being there.

I have been where you are. I had Borderline Personality Disorder. I recovered. You can too. The perfect speed of just being there is empowering when it meets with a willingness to hope. There is always light in the darkness. Just as there is darkness in the light. Perception and what you choose to think create the experience you will have and the feelings that will accompany your experience in life as it unfolds moment to moment.

What you focus on expands. What are you focusing on? If you haven’t yet, focus on hope. Hope is the perfect speed of just being there that can change your life.

Listen to A.J.’s BPD Inside Out Podcast Episode – Hope for BPD – Perfect Speed is Just Being There 

© A.J. Mahari, April 16, 2010 – All rights reserved.

Note: The phrase “perfect speed is just being there” was written by and is quoted from Richard Bach in his book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I highly recommend this book. I found it incredibly inspirational on my first reading of it many years ago and each subsequent reading since. Its message and appeal are  timeless.

p style=”text-align: justify;”>Author and Life Coach A.J. Mahari talks, in an episode of her Borderline Personality Disorder Inside Out Podcast, about the reality of focus and the importance of thinking outside the box. Is Borderline Personality Disorder really a “brain disease”? How does that account for the loss of authentic self in those with BPD that occurs do to abandonment?

What is the cause of BPD? Who knows? Does biopsychiatry really know? What do you believe? Can you get the whole story, all the information that you need from one source? Can accepting that BPD is a “brain disorder” negatively impact your ability to recover?

Too many people with BPD end up experiencing it as the sum total of who they know themselves to be. BPD is not, however, an identity. Where does that leave you?

The focus on BPD to date is largely one of unempowering those with BPD. It is a focus that increases feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. How is being in a narrow focus of the pathologizing of BPD helpful? Can it possibly be?  What’s the answer?

What will it benefit you most to focus on about BPD in order to empower yourself? What do you need to know to be able to get well? Is there a way to overcome the pathologizing of BPD that is way beyond stigma?

 LISTEN HERE

Just scroll down and look for this episode and you can also subscribe for free via iTunes

© A.J. Mahari, April 12, 2010 – All rights reserved.

BPD a Brain Disorder? Are You Stuck With It?

Is Borderline Personality Disorder really a “brain disorder”? Are you stuck with Borderline Personality Disorder? Life Coach and  BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, who herself recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 15 years ago speaks to the question of recovery from BPD in this audio program.

Do you feel like or believe that you can’t get better? That you won’t recover? Do you think BPD is a brain disorder and that means you will always have it? In this audio Life Coach and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, who recovered from BPD 15 years ago speaks the these question, “Am I stuck with BPD?” “Is it really possible to recover from BPD? Why don’t professionals describe what recovery is? Why don’t many professionals believe people with BPD can recover?

Borderline Personality Disorder is not only the most stigmatized mental illness, it is also the most pathologized. And it is not just the disorder that is pathologized. People with the disorder are often de-humanized by this pathologizing stigma and the attitude that others don’t want to work with them or that you can’t be helped if you have BPD. This compounds your shame. This can keep you stuck if you let it. Are you aware of what you are thinking? Are you aware of what you actually believe and why this is so important to getting unstuck and moving forward. This and so much more.

READ MORE …

© A.J. Mahari, March 29, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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BPD Coach and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, talks about how the journey of recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), along with the search for the lost authentic self, has at its center learning first to regulate and cope with emotions and then building skills and learning tools to master them. Emotional mastery is attainable for those with BPD. In her teachings, ebooks, audios, and Emotional Mastery coaching techniques Mahari strongly advocates the benefits of positive psychology and leaving the pathologizing in and about BPD behind.

Emotional Mastery Coaching with A.J. Mahari

Emotional Mastery Coaching Introduction For Borderlines

General Intro to Emotional Mastery Audio

From False Self to Authentic Self Getting in Touch with The Inner Child in BPD Audio Program

Finding Hope From The Polarized Reality Of BPD

The Legacy Of Abandonment In Borderline Personality Disorder Ebook

Emotional Mastery first requires that you make a choice to actively engage it and to open to the awareness that you need to know much more about – awareness that is held in your subconscious mind. Awareness that is needed in order to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder.

© A.J. Mahari, December 24, 2009 – All rights reserved.

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Biopsychiatry is all the rage these days isn’t it? How have mental illnesses, like Borderline Personality Disorder, and so many others, suddenly become pathologized beyond belief with a new stigma – “brain disorder” – the message that  implies the need for pharmaceuticals. A message that the National Association of Mental Health (NAMI) in the United States has forwarded. As if drugs are, or will someday be, the “cure”. As if drugs are the answer. Says who? Who do you believe?

The pharmaceutical industry influence on the psychiatric profession has been growing for sometime now. Is it a scam? Who is it designed to serve, really? In many ways this is a new stigma forwarded by drug companies out to make money. Conventional messages of organizations that mental illness is somehow this deep brain structure issue, brain disorder thing, suddenly, that requires drug treatment many believe to be the direct result of studies that have been funded by the pharmaceutical industry.

“Studies have shown that medical students and residents are susceptible to undue influence from pharmaceutical companies due to the companies involvement in medical school programs.” (Wikipedia)

“Antidepressants have been shown to have only a minimal effect, over that of a placebo, on patients. In an essay on advertisements for anti-depressants published in PLoS Medicine, social work academic Jeffrey Lacasse and neuroanatomist Jonathan Leo state that, despite this, the chemical imbalance theory is promoted by the medical industry as an explanation to depression and that their medicines correct the chemical imbalance. They also state that there is some evidence that both patients and professionals are influenced by the advertisements and patients may get prescribed medicines when other interventions are more suitable. In a further article they state that chemical imbalance has also been cited in media as an important cause of depression despite a lack of scientific literature that shows this causality.” (Wikipedia)

I found a video quite by accident. (Ah, but I am a believer that there really are no “accidents”) I believe, however, that it is certainly worth watching. If nothing else, Dr. John Breeding, makes some very interesting points about what he calls, “Big Pharma Front Groups, NAMI? Psychiatry Mental Health” Consumers need to really think more about the influence of pharmaceutical companies and the funding they provide to some major mental health and other advocacy organizations whose messages may well be tailored to suit these funding sources.

In the case of NAMI for example, I know that is where I first read online about Borderline Personality Disorder being categorized and described as a “brain disorder”. As I’ve always maintained, based upon my own experience, as someone who recovered from BPD – and by the way I was NOT EVER on any psychiatric medication – despite there being some neurobiological aspects to BPD – there is also the reality that BPD has a large part of its etiology in the nurture half of the equation. The nurture versus nature – the psychological/environmental versus biology – debate is a well-entrenched one. There are many professionals on both sides of the argument. It seems that most professionals associated with NAMI, in the United States, who according to the information provided by Dr. Breeding in the above video, only disclosed its funding when it was forced to and received over 50% of its funding from the pharmaceutical industry, are on the nature side of the debate citing studies that are also likely “pharma funded”.

Other organizations and perhaps what little media coverage BPD garners are following NAMI’s lead – or are being mislead? Next thing you know, brand new stigma – Borderline Personality Disordered individuals end up feeling hopeless or helpless thinking that they cannot change or recover unless and until that magical pill (biggest scam of all) is discovered because they are being told that this disorder has its roots in abornmal brain structure and/or function.

How can NAMI justify this? How can they claim to be a leading national association of mental health (in the United States) and do such disservice to their members? Just as with the other example Dr. Breeding cites about the Freedom From Fear organization actually being a perveyor of fear, something that seems largely a part of American society and culture – just reference Michael Moore’s “Bowling for Columbine” documentary where he gives an in depth explanation of the fear-mongering that is prevelant in so many areas of American society and media – witness the 24/7 cable news networks, that after all, need something to fill all that air time with.

People who are put in helpless and fearful positions or mindsets by those in government, media, or mental health, who are charged with authority, responsibility, and the well-being of those they are supposed to serve, can suffer untold and perhaps even unmeasurable confusion, distrust, and harm.

Sadly, perhaps even tragically for so  many people, so many mental health consumers,  the more the pharmaceutical industry flexes its powerful and far-reaching money-making muscles the more distorted the information that they need really becomes. The more they are likely to be told they need drugs to treat what is “wrong” with them. The more drugs they are given, the less actual therapy that is delivered. The more the message of mental illness being biological is put forth, the less people are actually helped and the more powerless they actually become.

The search for therapy is best conducted in areas of the mental health profession that do not prescribe drugs. I was most helped in my own recovery from BPD by social workers, a couple of psychiatric nurses, and psychologists. In fact, all I did with any contact I had with psychiatrists was refuse all of their attempts to get me to take medication. Medication that I knew was not the answer then for me. Medication that I don’t think is the (overall) answer for people now.

The pharmaceutical industry is victimizing mental health consumers and there are middle-”men” in the mix. Some psychiatrists. NAMI? The media? The pharmaceutical industry is disempowering the unsuspecting mental health consumer. Mental health consumers need to empower themselves with as much information as they can and certainly not rely only on the biopsychiatry that is dominating a lot of psychiatric practice in recent years (particularly in the United States).

On Biological Psychiatry

“I want to provide the basic information necessary to understand the misguided beliefs, and subsequent harmful practices of psychiatry today. As there are millions of homeless people in this country, and as “mental illness” is purported to be a major cause of homelessness, I will focus on how psychiatry treats homeless people. Know, however, that the principles apply to everyone. Our mental health system today is almost entirely guided by a very specific belief system, called biological psychiatry (biopsychiatry). Therefore, The assumptions of biopsychiatry have had an enormous impact on modern life. Modeled after the practice of medicine, biopsychiatry has all the trappings of language that we associate with scientific medicine. Biopsychiatry has the language, but not the science. To understand psychiatry today, it is necessary to be very clear that it is not about medicine; it is really about social control. The basic assumptions of biopsychiatry are as follows:

1. Adjustment to society is good.
2. Failure to adjust is the result of “mental illness.”
3. “Mental illness” (Depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.) is a medical disease.
4. “Mental illness” is the result of biological and/or genetic defects.
5. “Mental illness” is chronic, progressive, and basically incurable.
6. “Mental illness” can (and must) be controlled primarily by drugs; secondarily, and for really severe “mental illness,” by electroshock.
7. People with “mental illness” are irrational, and unable to make responsible decisions for themselves; therefore, coercion is necessary and justified.

For a fuller exposition of these seven assumptions, please see my books, The Wildest Colts Make the Best Horses, and The Necessity of Madness and Unproductivity: Psychiatric Oppression or Human Transformation. For now it is sufficient to recognize that these false beliefs provide the rationale for a coercive “final solution,” a logically inevitable expression of a dangerous and distorted worldview.  Psychiatry supports and defends the power structure, values, practices and appearances of the status quo; it looks at the world and selects out “defective” individuals for “treatment.”

Source: Dr. John Breeding — My Views on Psychiatry and “Mental Illness”

 You can read more on what Dr. Breeding refers to as psychiatric oppression on his website at: wildestcolts.com

© A.J. Mahari, December 19, 2009 – All rights reserved except for what is © Wikipedia and Dr. John Breeding

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Is there a cure for Borderline Personality Disorder? (BPD) How can you evaluate online information that promises to tell you about a cure if you buy a product or a certain book about a cure? Can you trust pitches that claim to tell you that they can cure BPD? Are they sales pitches or reality? Can loved ones of those with BPD trust pitches that promise to help them save relationships by purchasing information that advertises the cure for BPD or claims that someone has “solved”  BPD in some nice neat across-the-board way?

In this 60 minute audio I talk about what are important distinctions to be aware of about recovery from Borderline Personality. There is a difference in semantics within the journey of recovery and healing versus when one has recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Where does that leave the notion of a cure?

Is there a cure for Borderline Personality Disorder? Can a loved one help to cure a person with BPD in their lives? Is there a cure-all remedy? Who has the remedy?

Cure For Borderline Personality Disorder

© A.J. Mahari, December 15, 2009 – All rights reserved.

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As a Life Coach, BPD Coach and Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari talks with clients every day who are in the on-going experience of having their footsteps from the past obstruct their here-and-now in ways that mean unidentified and unreached goals and dreams. Footsteps from the past do not have to continue to obstruct your here-and-now. Mahari knows first-hand that the first step in creating a here-and-now unfolding authenticity in your life journey – to reach your promise and potential and unleash your passion –  is to awaken to the awareness that you are looking back more than you are living now and more than you can look ahead with any confidence.

The more you live with, in, from, and through unresolved past issues in your life, the more you are and will remain disconnected from who the Self in you really is today – from who you really are. Footsteps of unresolved emotions from the past cast a long shadow that effects people knowing who they really are and negatively impacts relationships.

Footsteps from the past obstruct, if not utterly obliterate the here-and-now. What is experienced repeatedly in the lives of those carrying the unresolved and unrelenting painful and negative experience of childhood (or parts of childhood) is the experience of a young and wounded child – not the experience of an emotionally mature adult.

How can you see where you are, let alone where you might be going, or want to go, if you are looking back. Back at the trail of footsteps that was a journey already taken? How can you know who you are when you are essentially still who you were?

If you are still living through unresolved childhood psychological and emotional woundedness you cannot fully experience the here-and-now as it is actually unfolding because you will be triggered back to re-experiencing what you have not yet worked through, accepted, and/or resolved.

To read the rest of this article (free) please visit Dialectic Magazine