Are you a borderline recovering from a relationship with someone with NPD?

[A.J. Mahari]

Have you been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and you are recovering from a past relationship with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

[Soandso]

I was in a relationship with someone with NPD a few years ago.  It was an eye-opening experience.  I was triggered beyond anything I have ever experienced in life during that time.  It was confusing and horrible.  He is a textbook narcissist.  That experience catalyzed the realization of my codependence, but not all the way to BPD which has been more recent.  I recovered from that relationship by leaving him high and dry and picking up the pieces on my own.  I am now recovered from that one and I can spot 'em a mile away now.  And I run in the opposite direction. 

[Caradavine]

I was married to one for years.  I avoid them at all costs now.  He would seek me out after we broke up just so he could bring me down again.  I mean, I know it is my choice and all, but I truly think he got a kick out of being the reason for my "problems".  It took me eight years to recover, the exact amount of time he tortured me. Now, he has no idea where I live and I like it that way.

[A.J. Mahari]

I was married to one for years.  I avoid them at all costs now.  He would seek me out after we broke up just so he could bring me down again.  I mean, I know it is my choice and all, but I truly think he got a kick out of being the reason for my "problems".  It took me eight years to recover, the exact amount of time he tortured me. Now, he has no idea where I live and I like it that way.

Hi Caradavine,

Sorry to hear that you went through that. I know it can be so painful. Often the best way to get away and stay away is to literally move on as you have so that the NPD doesn't know where you are. Sad, but true. I'm glad to read that you have recovered from that relationship.

[possyluv]

Is this a common thing? because I think every relationship I've been in has been with someone with NPD, except for the last one, who I now think was a phsycopath...( I found out after I got involved that he was not long out of gaol for murder, and when I broke up with him he threatened to kill my kids, and felt entitled to do so!)

Cheers, Jas

[Soandso]

I think the NPD/sociopathic predatory nature can smell our codependent ways instinctively.  The first time I met the one I was with, all the bells and whistles went off telling me DONT DO IT - RUN AWAY RUN AWAY - but I went along anyways and tried to justify it the whole time, tried to make him into a human with a soul who wasn't actively sucking away my life force.  Sheesh.

I learned a lot from that one - and very important stuff at that.  Maybe couldn't have learned what I did in any other way.  I'm thankful to myself for recognizing that. 

[Hanna]

I've been diagnosed with BPD.  I have had several relationships with people who to me seem quite narcissistic.  I don't think they have been diagnosed with NPD.

In all of the friendship and dating, they were the ones that instigated the relationship, sought me out. 

When I started learning about narcissism, I left the relationships.  I just ended a 30 year so-called friendship with an N.  I realized it wasn't a friendship.  I was just her adoring audience.

Key relationships growing up were with Ns.