What Is Abandonment?
Abandonment is often misunderstood by many with BPD. It is much more than emotional or physical abandonment.
Abandonment has often been thought of by many to be of a physical nature – as in desertion and neglect or primarily of an emotional nature – as in when a child is not nurtured or given the necessary attention and healthy love to feel safe and secure.
Both of these situations or realities do constitute forms of abandonment. There are other types of abandonment that are often significant in the lives of those who end up diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Abandonment is:
- a feeling
- a feeling of disconnection
- a feeling of loss
- an aloneness and longing loneliness
- intense feelings of being devastated when a relationship ends
- fearing loss so much that one is too afraid to even risk being connected
- a mother leaving her child
- a father leaving his child
- death of a pet
- loss of a job or career
- moving
- a boy or girl realizing they are homosexual and fearing rejection
- being rejected
- lack of purpose
- not knowing who you are
- a child’s agitation in response to emotionally unavailable parents
- death of a loved one
- loss of a friend
- a woman alone after her husband cheats on her
- a divorce
- a cold distant parent
- a family’s “don’t talk” rule
- being emotionally, sexually, or verbally abused
Abandonment is a deep and abiding wound at the epicentre or heart of human experience. It is a painful and empty feeling.
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