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	<title>Ask The BPD Coach</title>
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	<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari</link>
	<description>A.J. Mahari</description>
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		<title>Change Your Thoughts &#8211; Change Your Life &#8211; 19 Coaching Exercises To End Negative Thought Patterns</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2010/03/change-your-thoughts-change-your-life-19-coaching-exercises-to-end-negative-thought-patterns/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2010/03/change-your-thoughts-change-your-life-19-coaching-exercises-to-end-negative-thought-patterns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Mar 2010 19:25:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non Borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[19 coaching exercises to help you end negative thought patterns by Life Coach and BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[achieve your goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask the bpd coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Change your thoughts change your life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cognitive re-training]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional dysregulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[find yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what you think determines what you feel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/?p=160</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - 19 Coaching Exercises To Help You Change Negative Thought Patterns by Life Coach and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, is a 102 page Ebook chalk full of information and 19 coaching exercises to help you change negative thinking into positive thinking. This Ebook stresses how much you will benefit from focusing postively on the here-and-now so that the decisions you are making today will help you create a positive, successful and productive future. And this Ebook doesn't just tell you that, it provides you with practical exercises that will show you how to create positive change and how to not only stop focusing on the negative, stop worrying, but also stop feeling so stressed and stop ruminating on intrusive, negative, and unwanted thoughts. Not everyone can afford Life Coaching. This Ebook gives you exercises to do that I use with many of my clients and now you too can get this help and at a fraction of the price.


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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>If BPD Spouse Leaves &#8211; What should Loved One do?</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2010/02/if-bpd-spouse-leaves-what-should-loved-one-do/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2010/02/if-bpd-spouse-leaves-what-should-loved-one-do/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:23:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non Borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask the bpd coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline spouse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[break ups in relationship with borderline wife]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[codependence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[contact or no contact with borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[enmeshment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[If a bpd spouse leaves the marriage should the non bpd try to contact her or use the "no contact rule" and wait to see if she comes back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[on again off again relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[punishment and revenge in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toxic relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/?p=108</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask A.J. Mahari, the BPD Coach, what you most want to know more about Borderline Personality Disorder. Andy writes and asks - "If a bpd spouse leaves the marriage should the non bpd try to contact her or use the "no contact rule" and wait to see if she comes back?" I have had many non borderline clients that I work with in life coaching, asking me this question as well. There is no one-size fits all answer and this is a situation in which working with me as your life coach can really benefit you because this is a transitional experience with the potential for the personal growth of the non borderline - the loved one. There are choices that are often made by loved ones of a spouse with BPD that has left that often keep them stuck in pain and suffering and over-focusing on the person with BPD. It is important to know that you have no control over what your borderline spouse will do or not. You have to ask yourself if you want to be in a holding pattern or not? What about you? What about getting on with your life and healing? You may be placing yourself in the no-win situation of staying engaged in a toxic relational dance. 


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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Is Recovery From Borderline Personality Possible &#8211; How long does it take?</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2010/01/is-recovery-from-borderline-personality-possible-how-long-does-it-take/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2010/01/is-recovery-from-borderline-personality-possible-how-long-does-it-take/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:43:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[as the bpd coach aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd coach A.J. Mahari is asked about her recovery from bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotion regulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how long does recovery take]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[is recovery from borderline personality disorder possible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[is recovery from bpd possible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[medication and bpd recovery]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/?p=78</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask A.J. Mahari, the BPD Coach, what you most want to know more about Borderline Personality Disorder. A woman with Borderline Personality Disorder asks A.J. about her recovery and whether or not she was on medication and if she still is now. How long did A.J.`s recovery take? How long did it take to find her authentic self and start to recover?


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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder &#8211; A Borderline Asks, Why Do I Punish?</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/11/punishment-and-revenge-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/11/punishment-and-revenge-in-borderline-personality-disorder/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:36:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask the bpd coach aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dysregulated emotion in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non borderlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[punishment and revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roots of borderline punishment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self harm in bpd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/?p=52</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask The BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, your questions about Borderline Personality Disorder. I have received countless questions on the subject of punishment and revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder, most often from loved ones with someone with BPD in their lives. I coach a lot of borderline and non borderline clients who find this aspect of BPD the most painful and the most frustrating. My latest ebook, Punishement and Revenge In Borderline Personality Disorder examines the inner-workings of borderline punishment and revenge.  I do get a lot of email from people diagnosed with BPD, along with coaching many with BPD who are in the process of trying to understand why they punish others and often themselves as well. Most with BPD, whether they admit it or speak of it or not, in some way, to one extent or another do know something about the reality of enacting punishment and revenge against others and against themselves.


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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Life and BPD Coaching For Loved Ones of BPD</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/life-and-bpd-coaching-for-loved-ones-of-bpd/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/life-and-bpd-coaching-for-loved-ones-of-bpd/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:54:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mother of BPD Daughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non Borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aj mahari's bpd and life coaching for loved ones of bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline daughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline husband]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline mother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline wife]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd loved ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non borderlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[non borderlines and loved ones of bpd need to heal and recover too]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the other side of bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding bpd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/life-and-bpd-coaching-for-loved-ones-of-bpd/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Author, Life and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, empowers loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder to take care of themselves, cope more effectively with someone with BPD in their lives, and to find their own healing on the other side of BPD via her coaching services for loved ones of those with BPD.



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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mother of Daughter With Borderline Personality Disorder &#8211; Coping with Splitting</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/mother-of-daughter-with-borderline-personality-disorder-coping-with-splitting/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/mother-of-daughter-with-borderline-personality-disorder-coping-with-splitting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:28:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mother of BPD Daughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aj mahari bpd coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline splitting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd facts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to cope with daughter with BPD and her splitting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to help grandson who has mother with BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mother of a borderline daughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non borderlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[radical acceptance for loved ones of bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[splitting in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding bpd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/mother-of-daughter-with-borderline-personality-disorder-coping-with-splitting/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask A.J. Mahari, the BPD Coach, what you most want to know more about Borderline Personality Disorder. Mother of Daughter With Borderline Personality Disorder - Coping with Splitting "I have an adult daughter who has BPD. She refuses to go see someone about her condition. My question has to do with how I react when my daughter is both "acting in" and "acting out". The situation is escalating and reeking havoc in her marriage and in her family life (she has an 11 year old son), and certainly with her extended family. My biggest concern is my grandson."



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		<item>
		<title>Coaching Empowers Change in Borderline Personality Disorder</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/coaching-empowers-change-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/coaching-empowers-change-in-borderline-personality-disorder/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Sep 2009 19:48:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandonment and bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask the bpd coach aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline as victim]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline finding empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline mother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline wife]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd and change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd loved one]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd rage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ex with bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how does a bpd coach help someone with bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non Borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what does a bpd or life coach do]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/coaching-empowers-change-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BPD Coaching with A.J. Mahari empowers change in Borderline Personality Disorder. Ask the BPD Coach A.J. Mahari questions about Borderline Personality Disorder. "What do you do as a BPD Coach? How do you help people? Is there a difference between what you do as a BPD coach and what a therapist does? I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 24. That was 20 years ago. I am now 44. I am still stuck. I still have BPD. I read about the possibility of recovery but I haven't found anyon



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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Coping With and Learning From Abandonment Fear in Borderline Personality Disorder</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/coping-with-and-learning-from-abandonment-fear-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/coping-with-and-learning-from-abandonment-fear-in-borderline-personality-disorder/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:17:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandoned pain of bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandonment fear in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[adult child of borderline mother with bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aj mahari bpd coach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd and triggers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd intense feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with abandonment in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional dysregulations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[legacy of abandonment in bpd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/09/coping-with-and-learning-from-abandonment-fear-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has at its center abandonment. Those diagnosed with BPD have a tremendous and often all-consuming fear of abandonment. They feel or perceive the threat of abandonment in many everyday relational situations. Along with this intense fear of abandonment people with BPD have an equal and intense inability to effectively cope emotionally with this fear of abandonment in ways that would be healthier for relationships. Often people with BPD being very triggered by their fears of abandonment are triggered into emotional dysregulation that leaves them struggling with often repeated flooding of feelings from the past that are re-experienced in the here and now.



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		<title>The Enemy Within in Borderline Personality Disorder</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/08/the-enemy-within-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/08/the-enemy-within-in-borderline-personality-disorder/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:31:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Interactive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[False Self In BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline loved one]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd coach aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd interactive with aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd podcast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dissociation in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[is there an enemy inside the borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lack of identity in borderline personality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lost self in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non borderlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain of bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self help for bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[triggers in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding bpd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/08/the-enemy-within-in-borderline-personality-disorder/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Enemy Within in Borderline Personality Disorder. Is the person with BPD his or her own worst enemy? Something I've always wanted to know about Borderline Personality Disorder is why does it feel like I have an enemy inside of me? As someone who has BPD am I my own worst enemy and does that enemy really live inside me? If so, what does that actually mean? Am I my own enemy? Who am I? - Chris W., Ontario, Canada



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		<item>
		<title>Why Does Borderline Personality Hurt Me So Much &#8211; I can&#8217;t stand the pain what do I do?</title>
		<link>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/08/why-does-borderline-personality-hurt-me-so-much-i-cant-stand-the-pain-what-do-i-do/</link>
		<comments>http://borderlinepersonality.ca/askthebpdcoachajmahari/2009/08/why-does-borderline-personality-hurt-me-so-much-i-cant-stand-the-pain-what-do-i-do/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:51:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>A.J. Mahari</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Borderline Personality Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD and Abandonment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Coach A.J. Mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Interactive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BPD Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abandonment in bpd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask the bpd coach aj mahari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[borderline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd and pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd explained]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bpd family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[false self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lost self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loved Ones of BPD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain of borderline personality disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding bpd]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I am a 54 year old woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. Why does it hurt so much having BPD? Why am I always in so much pain? I don't understand where the pain is coming from, what it means, or what I am supposed to do with it or about it. Every time my therapist starts to talk about pain I just block out everything she says. I just can't hear it. Help! What can I do to deal with all of this pain that I just can't stand?



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