Can I Recover From Borderline Personality Disorder?

“I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about 6 years ago. I am now 35. I feel as if life has passed me by because as someone with BPD I just can’t seem to make any type of relationship last or work. There is so much pain I feel all the time. I am so depressed. I just keep hurting people who I try to get to know. No one in my family is even speaking to me right now. Everything in my stinking borderline life pretty much sucks. I don’t even get why “this” is happening to me. My question is, can I really recover from Borderline Personality Disorder?” — Mary Mcallistar – Alberta, Canada 

BPD Coach A.J. Mahari responds: 

Mary, so much of what you describe is often expressed by many of my coaching clients who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is important to give yourself permission to feel how you feel without judging yourself. Having Borderline Personality Disorder is a complicated and complex way to experience life. Having BPD is often a very painful experience for those diagnosed with it. 

Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, in some circles, still seems to carry with it stigma and controversy. However, as one who myself recovered 14 years ago, yes, it is possible to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder. 

Many with BPD, like yourself, feel somewhat in a hurry to “fix” so much in their lives or in the ways that they experience their feelings in life. Many try various shortcuts and escape tactics. There aren’t any effective shortcuts or substitutes for the work that it takes to recover from BPD in therapy. More people with BPD are also now actively engaging working with a BPD Coach like myself as part of their self help efforts in and toward recovery along with getting professional help. 

It is central to any and all efforts in your on-going process of recovery to have hope and to know that it is possible. It is also very important to be consciously aware that there is no effective escape from BPD that can provide you with the healthy relief and resolution that you want and that you need. The way to recovery from BPD is through the very pain that each person with BPD must struggle with learning to cope with. 

It essential that each person with BPD find a therapist who is very knowledgeable about BPD and who also believes in your ability to get well. Far too many people are still being told by therapists who do not specialize in the treatment of BPD that they cannot hope to ever recover. Knowing that recovery is possible and believing in that even when it may seem unattainable or feel impossible to you can and will make a difference in your life, one moment at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time, over time. 

© The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari, August 21, 2009 – All rights reserved.

All responses given by The BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, are meant to convey general information and are not intended to be in anyway a specific recommendation or commentary on any personal life situation. Coaching is not therapy, it is also not a replacement for professional therapy. Coaching can be an effective adjunct to professional therapy for those with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or their loved ones. 

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