Archive for the ‘Non Borderline’ Category

I now have a new site where I will be sharing much more about recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. This site will include video, audio, blogs, and coming very soon – excerpts from my up-coming memoir about my recovery from BPD in 1995 and my audio autobiography which is a prelude to the  memoir in which I share the impacting and noteworthy aspects of my “borderline years” along with some childhood experiences that were central to all that I had to get through in the therapy that was my process of recovery. There is so much hope  for BPD recovery – hope that is being negated by systemic stigma and hidden agendas within many areas of the mental health delivery system these days. What do you need to know more about? Why do so many say you can’t recover from Borderline Personality Disorder? Why do they say that? What is BPD really, anyway? Remember, what you think creates your experience, so be very careful about what you think about what BPD is, how it is treated, who knows what, and what causes it and much more.

There is too much being said these days by too many about all that is negative about Borderline Personality Disorder. Too many people focus too much on the stereotypical, limiting, devaluing, pathologizing of human beings who are living their lives with BPD – in an out-of-balance way. That’s not something entirely pathological at all. It is a reactive-response to unaddressed and unhealed woundedness. People with  Borderline Personality Disorder are not all the same. People with  BPD, especially in a relational context, exhibit what it means to be human in very intense and polarized ways. Not pathological, but out-of-balance ways.

The traits that psychiatry as used to define Borderline Personality Disorder are human traits. How is it that they took what are human traits and twisted them into a pathology that they named Borderline Personality Disorder and then abandoned anyone diagnosed with it saying that you can’t get better. Can’t get better from what? Being human in intensely polarized ways? Say what?

And to further complicate that reality that people with Borderline Personality Disorder can get well, in the last decade or so, now these (not all but a lot) psychiatrists have created, yes created, what is now known as biopsychiatry. Biopsychiatry, essentially came out of what is not being referred to as “the decade of the brain” – the 1990′s. “Decade of the brain” – what? Did the brain need a decade? What does this mean? What was the focus on the brain about and who was doing the focusing? What was the purpose of this focus? These are important questions to keep in mind when you consider what BPD really is versus what biospsychiatry says it is and what that means for recovery and what that means to the process of actual recovery versus being kept stuck in what psychiatrists and the mental profession continue to claim is such “pathology”.

The “decade of the brain” saw many studies be reported, actually, marketed to the public. Studies that made all sorts of claims about Borderline Personality Disorder, and indeed, mental illness generally, as “brain disorder” or “brain disease”. Do you like science fiction? I personally, don’t really. It’s a lot of fantasy and illusion with high-tech special effects. Oh, wait, rather just like the studies of the “decade of the brain” and beyond. What most people don’t know or realize, unless they question the mass-marketing of supposed study-findings that conclude Borderline Personality Disorder is a “brain disorder” is that these studies were largely funded – if not entirely funded – by Big Pharma, mainly in the United States to begin with. The big money of Big Pharma (pharaceutical companies – drug companies) looked for a more effective way to market their products. That’s what is behind biopsychiatry. A “marriage” of sorts between Big Pharma and its marketing machine and big dollars to advertising in all forms of media meets “mental health professionals” who also want to make more money. Where is the actual mental health consumer/client/patient in this “relationship”?

If you believe that biopsychiatry, which is also known as the “medical model of psychiatry”, has the any proof of their claims – claims that they put across about mental illness as a “brain disorder” to sell drugs to people that actually, in the long run, obfuscate recovery and make it more difficult for people thus meaning they will be more reliant on the drugs and the prescribing mental health professionals – I hope you will think again, do some research and do your best not to get caught up in or trapped in their smoke-and-mirror pseduo-science. A “science”, this “brain disorder” junk they say their “studies” back-up as if it were proof when at best it is only theory, if that, takes your humanity out of the equation. It doesn’t look at you, the mental health consumer/client/patient as a whole person at all. But then, should that be surprising given the fact that the traits they list, for example, in the DSM-IV as “pathological” as “mental illness” as “personality disordered traits” are human traits that they themselves have defined as pathology?

You can recover from Borderline Personality Disorder. I did. What can block your ability to get well and to recover is being fooled by biopsychiatry into believing that you have a “brain disorder” and that only those who create the “illness” can cure it. But can they? NO! Do they even try? NO! That’s right – biopsychiatry, largely backed by, created by, and funded by Big Pharma has a different agenda other than treating people with BPD and mental illness – they are serving themselves, not you!

Sound controversial? Sound crazy? Sound impossible? Well, if you want to know more about where I am coming from with this please do visit my newest site at bpdmemoir.com where I will be talking more about recovery and what kind of thinking supports recovery and what kind of thinking will keep you stuck in the pain of Borderline Personality Disorder.

I’ll also be speaking to Loved Ones of those with BPD about what types of misinformation you need to pay more attention to so that you have all the information you need to make decisions in your best interest. Many books in the last few years targeted at BPD Loved Ones, BPD Family members, partners, and ex-partners, co-workers, etc., of those with BPD have mislead you also in terms of this “medical model of BPD” that is really not about supporting wellness or recovery and is more about an industry making money and yes, exploiting people’s pain.

© A.J. Mahari, December 21, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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Loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners of those with Borderline Personality Disorder are often confused, in pain, and struggling to cope with a loved one with BPD. Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach A.J. Mahari was interviewed on the healthyplace.com Mental Health TV Show on the subject of BPD Loved ones and Coping with someone in your life with BPD. This interview has been broken up into three parts to fit on youtube. You can watch the there excerpts of this interview below or by going to my YouTube Channel

• The Puzzle and Mystery of Hope on the Other Side of BPDli>
• Inside The Borderline Mind
• The Shame of Abandonment In BPD
• Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Nons
• Facing the Facts of BPD – On The Other Side For Nons
• Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love

Audio Programs For Loved Ones of BPD © A.J. Mahari

• Purchase all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES or 3 Non Borderline Ebooks packaged together with audio.
• Purchase all 5 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD ebooks
• Non Borderlines – You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together without audio or 6 ebooks bundled together with 2 audio programs 6 ebooks packaged together with 2 audio programs
• Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound of Abandonment” series ebooks or Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound of Abandonment” series ebooks with From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD – The Inner Chid Audio Program

• The Shame of Abandonment in BPD
• From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD – Getting In Touch With Your Inner Child
• BPD and Abandonment
• Finding Hope From the Polarized Reality of BPD
• Preparing For Recovery From BPD
• Emotion Dysregulation in BPD
• Rage Addiction in Borderline Personality Disorder

Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari

Please be sure to visit healthyplace.com where they now feature blogs including one written by someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

&copy A.J. Mahari

Tips To Curb Emotional Overreactions

Psyche Whisperer Radio Show Interview

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Have you heard that mental illness, according to some in the profession of psychiatry (mainly in the United States) is “brain disease”? What do you think? Is it a coincidence that many studies aiding in these theories of what is known as biopsychiatry are being made on the basis of the outcomes of studies that are largely funded by pharmaceutical companies in the United States? Do you think that all psychiatrists or even all psychologists agree with this un-proven conclusion? Many do  not agree. One very well known opponent of his own profession’s all-too-common practice in recent years is Australian psychiatrist, Dr. Niall (Jock) McLaren. On Friday July 23, 2010, 7pm EST on The Psyche Whisperer Radio Show on blogtalkradio, A.J. Mahari will interview Dr. McLaren on this topic and talk to him about the two books he’s authored and the very courageous stance he has taken that has not left him popular in the profession of psychiatry.

Niall (Jock) McLaren, MD, is an Australian psychiatrist, author and theoretician. His work opposes the mainstream view in psychiatry to the extent that he argues modern psychiatry has no scientific basis whatsoever. However, he insists that he is not “anti-psychiatry,” but a committed scientist following his duty of criticizing the prevailing models in his field in order to improve it. He is the author of the two books, Humanizing Madness: Psychiatry and the Cognitive Neurosciences. 2007; and Humanizing Psychiatry: The Biocognitive Model. 2009. He is working on another book due out later this year.

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© A.J. Mahari and The Psyche Whisperer Radio show

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Author, Life Coach, Mental Health and BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari has written 6 Books specifically about Borderline Personality Disorder and 4 Books specifically for Loved Ones about Borderline Personality Disorder.

A.J. Mahari has also written and narrated 12 Audio Programs about Borderline Personality Disorder, along with 4 Audios about BPD Recovery and 13 Audio Programs specifically for Loved ones with someone with BPD in (or who was in) their lives.

A.J. Mahari also has Books and Audios about various topics under the category of Self Help that can be of help to those with BPD and/or to their loved ones as well.

You can also purchase coaching sessions with A.J. Mahari

© Phoenix Rising Publications and Touchstone Life Coaching Services – All rights reserved.

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Does Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker meet the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder? This was a questions posed, for some reason, and for an even less understandable reason answered by Eric Bui and colleagues at Toulouse University Hospital in France in what has been described as “a brazen act of arm-chair diagnosis”. Who does this serve? Who does this help -anyone? What is the meaning of this? Does it matter?

How can this “diagnosis” of a fictional character help anyone understand Borderline Personality Disorder? Isn’t it likely really to muddy the waters and be more of a case of mis-information? Just what BPD needs right? More confusion? How can anyone who loves or cares about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder really come to understand the the mind of those who are diagnosed with BPD? This diagnosis of a fictional character who many don’t believe is an accurate diagnosis anyway will only mislead loved ones away from the facts about BPD that they need to know, want to know, and will benefit from knowing.

How are people who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder supposed to feel about this? How can this possibly be viewed as helpful? How can anyone with BPD think that people who already don’t understand their pain and suffering can possibly learn anything from such an irresponsible “diagnosis” of a movie character that isn’t even real?

Talk about a lack of sensitivity. What a lack of respect, really. Stigmatizing BPD while potentially trivializing it as well.

Does this “diagnosis” of a fictional character with Borderline Personality Disorder have any up-side? Perhaps, only in that it brought some media attention to Borderline Personality Disorder. Or some pop-culture attention. However, I think the negatives of this far outweigh that potential positive. It seems that when pop-culture or media mention or in anyway portray Borderline Personality Disorder (as they often do without making that clear) it ends up really only succeeding in the furthering of negative, damaging, and hurtful stigma against people who are living with BPD.

The down-side that I believe is being over-looked and that matters most is the way in which this further stigmatizes not only the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but, even more importantly, the people diagnosed with it? Why? Because of the connection between the inherent evil of Darth Vader and the stigma that has long been perpetuated toward those with BPD as being evil.

• Purchase all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES or 3 Non Borderline Ebooks packaged together with audio.
• Purchase all 5 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD ebooks
• Non Borderlines – You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together without audio or
  6 ebooks bundled together with 2 audio programs 6 ebooks packaged together with 2 audio programs
• Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound of Abandonment” series ebooks or Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound ofAbandonment” series ebooks with From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD – The Inner Chid Audio Program
  

Dr. Bui, apparently came up with his “diagnosis” of Darth Vader while watching two of the three Star Wars prequel movies, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. He theorizes that young Anakin Skywalker was separated from his mother at an early age and his father was absent and that these are the factors that could have contributed to his mental illness.

Apparently in his theorizing, Bui, also believes that also indicative of this character’s supposed Borderline Personality Disorder are his “infantile illusions of omnipotence” and “dysfunctional experiences of self and others.”  It is perceived and concluded that he often showed impulsive behavior and had difficulty controlling his anger. Anakin Skywalker’s eventual turn to the Dark Side and name change, to Darth Vader, could represent the ultimate sign of an identity disturbance is the apparent reasoning behind this entire exercise of “arm-chair diagnosis”.

It can be argued, though it’s hardly worth it, that “infantile illusions of omnipotence” would point more at Narcissistic Personality Disorder than BPD. As for “dysfunctional experiences of self and others” I think it reasonable to conclude that Walker/Vader’s transformation is not the experience of people who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Here’s where diagnosing a movie character makes it tricky doesn’t it? I mean, the archetypal nature of this shift in a character’s identity is a work of fiction that no doubt seeks to depict many epic human struggles and not just struggles or challenges that can be described as being the result of any mental illness, let alone Borderline Personality Disorder. The archetypal richness of this character speaks to many interpretations. However, ascribing this character’s experience or interal feelings, perceptions, and the like to BPD, let alone any mental illness is nothing short of ridiculous. It misses the entire point of the character really.

Anakin Skywalker’s eventual turn to the dark side and name change do not have anything to do with BPD specifically or exclusively at all. Where this conclusion comes from who knows. It doesn’t follow any type of logic. But then, how could it? This eventual turn to the dark side of Walker’s as he took on the identity of Darth Vader is not something that bears any resemblance to the experience of people with BPD. People diagnosed with BPD do not have a stable sense of identity. This, however, does not mean they go from who they are (or the not being sure about who they are) to being drastically different and turning to some dark side. This comparison is evidence of the equating of  BPD with evil which is irresponsibile and not accurate.

What is it in this world today, anyway, that everything has to be pathologized? Isn’t it ironic how black-and-white many people in the world are thinking – people who are not diagnosed with BPD? People who invoke the topic of BPD, diagnose fictional characters, like this psychatrist, Bui, or lay-people who are busy diagnosing anyone and everyone they know but themselves?

The dilemma here, in terms of understanding is hidden, perhaps for many, within the central and often over-looked definition of what Borderline Personality Disorder actually is. The way it is defined in the DSM-IV by psychiatrists outlines 9 traits. Out of these 9 traits a person must meet the criteria for 5 of them in order to be diagnosed as having BPD – by a professional.

The very traits that form the basis for what defines borderline personality disorder are human traits. They are human traits that are found more intensely and more often in those who meet the criteria for BPD. They are not some separate set of traits that just define BPD. My point here is that many others who may not meet the criteria for BPD will struggle with some of these traits. Why? Because they are human traits firstly and foremostly. Those with BPD and people who are not personality-disordered do not have different core traits. What is different is the way that these traits manifest themselves and are perceived and experienced – but not the traits themselves.

Is it any wonder then that people who love or care about someone with BPD may end up thinking they themselves have BPD? People are going around thinking this person or that person has BPD because he or she did or said this or that, or because he or she was angry or thought in a black-and-white way about something. In other words, there is this over-pathologizing going on. People pointing fingers at others and at each other. And, now, psychatrists at a fictional character for crying-out-loud – Vader – as having  Borderline Personality Disorder.

• The Shame of Abandonment in BPD
• From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD – Getting In Touch With Your Inner Child
• BPD and Abandonment
• Finding Hope From the Polarized Reality of BPD
• Preparing For Recovery From BPD
• Emotion Dysregulation in BPD
• Rage Addiction in Borderline Personality Disorder
• Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Nons
  
• Facing the Facts of BPD – On The Other Side For Nons
• Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love

Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari

Where has common sense gone? The traits that define BPD are human traits. Each and every one of us as human beings has these traits. It is not pathological to have these traits in reasonably balanced and paradoxical ways.

Bui, et al, diagnosing Darth Vader with Borderline Personality Disorder seems to give creedence to the many ways that people disparage people who have BPD. I don’t agree with this at all. I think the diagnosis of a fictional character – even if they get it right (let’s not forget there are many reasons to doubt Darth Vader would be a candidate for BPD if he were a real person) is in any way responsible or worth the time or effort given to it.

Why do I write about it here then? To say that the danger of this is the further stigmatizing of BPD and those who have BPD. It sensationalizes BPD and what it means to have BPD while at the same time trivializing it. It doesn’t serve anyone. I also have concern that this “arm-chair diagnosis” that equates BPD to this fictional character, who was a personification of evil, is highly irresponsibile and frankly, offensive.

Darth Vader has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Aside from the issues of that equating BPD with evil, so what, who cares?

Where’s the relevance? Where’s the significance? How can this be a worthwhile teaching tool for tomorrow’s psychiatrists? How can this benefit anyone with BPD? How can this really serve to help others understand BPD in balanced and compassionate ways?

The answer is - it can’t.

All this diagnosis of Darth Vader with Borderline Personality Disorder does is serve as a prime example of its being equated with evil. It serves as a prime example of the stigma of BPD. It may even give rise to more people with BPD distrusting the very body of professionals who are supposed to treat them, and I might add, with respect.

© A.J. Mahari, June 26, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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Do people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder play mind games? Life coach and author, A.J. Mahari, who herself, recovered from BPD 15 years ago answers this question based upon her own life experience and her experience coaching hundreds of clients with BPD and who are loved ones of those with BPD.

It can be asserted that Borderline Personality Disorder is the most stigmatized mental illness. At the center of that stigma is the often forwarded idea or belief that “borderlines play mind games”. Even some people with Borderline Personality Disorder blog about this online themselves. Does this make it so? Do they enough awareness to appreciate the paradoxical nature of two perspectives about BPD and mind games? Do they understand that much of what feels as if it is within their control is more to the point all that they are not in control of? What does this mean for the loved one of someone with BPD? Is there more to understand? Does it depend upon your perspective? Have you thought about how answering this question might affect decisions and choices you may need to make in your life?

• The Puzzle and Mystery of Hope on the Other Side of BPD
• Inside The Borderline Mind
• The Shame of Abandonment In BPD
• Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Nons
  
• Facing the Facts of BPD – On The Other Side For Nons
• Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love

Coaching Sessions

1 Session $80.00 2 Sessions $160.00 6 Sessions $450.00 10 Sessions $750.00

• Purchase
  all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES or 3 Non Borderline Ebooks packaged together with audio.
• Purchase all 5 Core Wound of Abandonment in BPD ebooks
• Non Borderlines – You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together without audio or
  6 ebooks bundled together with 2 audio programs 6 ebooks packaged together with 2 audio programs
• Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase
  A.J. Mahari’s 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks or Mahari’s 3 “Core Wound of
  Abandonment” series ebooks with From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD – The Inner Chid Audio Program