Author Archive

Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari, on video, on the subject of non borderlines, loved ones of those with BPD, partners, and family members having compassion for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Why is compassion for those with BPD important? What makes it challenging for those who are non borderline? Can compassion be confused with enabling and rescuing? Does compassion or lack thereof have anything to do with what you are experiencing from your borderline loved one? Can you or should you have compassion in the face of abuse, borderline rage, borderline splitting, on-again, off-again, cyclical and toxic relationships?

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• Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder
• Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Non Borderlines
• Can You Rescue a Borderline Loved One?
• Facing The Facts on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder
• Inside The Borderline Mind
• 4 BPD Loved Ones Ebooks – Puzzle Mystery of Hope & Splitting and BPD Audio Program Bundle
• The Dilemma on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder – Can Borderlines Love? Do Borderlines Feel Love?
• Full Circle – Lessons For Non Borderlines
• Splitting in Borderline Personality – Loved Ones

Ebooks and Audio Programs ? A.J. Mahari

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? A.J. Mahari, June 16, 2011 – Phoenix Rising Publicatons – All rights reserved.

Many people who email A.J Mahari, and many of her Life Coaching clients who are loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners or on-again, off-again partners of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder are asking her about validation. Does it help if you, as a loved one of someone with BPD, learn how to validate and support the person with BPD in your life in how they are feeling and what they are communicating?

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• Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder
• Can You Rescue a Borderline Loved One?
• Facing The Facts on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder
• Inside The Borderline Mind
• 4 BPD Loved Ones Ebooks – Puzzle Mystery of Hope & Splitting and BPD Audio Program Bundle
• The Dilemma on The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder – Can Borderlines Love? Do Borderlines Feel Love?
  
• Full Circle – Lessons For Non Borderlines
• Splitting in Borderline Personality – Loved Ones

Ebooks and Audio Programs ? A.J. Mahari


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? A.J. Mahari, Phoenix Rising Publicatons – All rights reserved.

Non Borderlines, Loved ones of those with Borderline Personality need their own recovery. Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari talks about this in her latest video.

Most of those who are familiar with Borderline Personality Disorder think that it is just people with BPD that need recovery when the truth of the matter is that Borderline Personality Disorder, and the dynamics it manifests in all forms of relationships means that both those with BPD and those who know them are affected and often in negative, confusing, and painful ways.

This is why it is important for BPD Loved Ones to realize that they too need their own recovey Non Borderline Recovery

 

 

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• The Puzzle and Mystery of Hope on the Other Side of BPD
• Inside The Borderline Mind
• The Shame of Abandonment In BPD
• Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze – Recovery For Nons
• Facing the Facts of BPD – On The Other Side For Nons
• Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love

Audio Programs For Loved Ones of BPD ? A.J. Mahari

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? A.J. Mahari, June 14, 2011 – All rights reserved.

Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari now has her Thought Changing Affirmations Handbooks 5 Volume Set available. Through the use of these positive affirmations, one a day, or one a week, you can learn to change your negative painful thoughts into more positive pain-neutral and/or happy contented thoughts. Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve. If you want and need to stop suffering and to experience more peace, more calm, less to eventually no emotional dysregulation in your life than Mahari's 5 Volume Set of Changing Your Thought Positive Affirmation Handbooks will be invaluable to you in your recovery process. A natural way to help empower your own recovery. A natural way that you have control over to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. You will feel so much better about yourself. Thoughts define our experience. What you think really controls what you experience, your pain, difficulty in relating to others, in relationships, in knowing who you are and so much more. It is all generated by the rigid thought patterns you've built up from a very young age and added to over the years. Affirmations might sound silly, or hardly like a hopeful solution to improve the quality of your life, but take it from Mahari who not only knows this and witnesses incredible change in the clients she coaches but she knows this first hand having recovered from BPD in 1995.

 

You can use these "Positive Affirmations" – short positive statements targeted at a specific subconscious set of beliefs – to challenge and undermine negative beliefs and to replace them with positive self-nurturing beliefs. How we think creates our experience. If you are thinking largely negatively you will create and perceive your life experience through a negative lens. If you are thinking more positively the exact opposite will manifest in your life – your thoughts, experience, relationships, and your over-all life experience.

   

READ MORE and Purchase by CLICKING HERE

  ? A.J. Mahari, May 14, 2011 – All rights reserved.    

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) until recently was reluctant to reveal the source of its funding. But thanks to Sen. Grassley we now can learn NAMI?s sources for Major Foundation and Corporate Support, which you can find here. I downloaded the list of ?funders? for 2009. Fortunately, unlike pharmaceutical companies who have revealed monies paid to physicians (see, for example, ?Transparency Vs. Translucency in Reporting Physician Payments?), NAMI?s numbers are easy to copy into Excel spreadsheets and analyze.

by John Mack

Pharma Marketing Blog

In 2009, NAMI received 84 payments over $5,000 from different sources. Payments total $4,737,610.00 of which $3,836,750.00 (81%) came from major pharmaceutical companies. The following pie chart shows how the $3,836,750.00 was divided among major pharma funders (click on the chart for an enlarged view).

The biggest pharma funder in 2009 was AstraZenca (AZ), which donated $1,255,000.00. Recall that AZ is forced to pay about 400X that amount ($520 million) to resolve allegations that it illegally marketed the anti-psychotic drug Seroquel for uses not approved as safe and effective by the Food and Drug Administration (see HHS press release here). I guess you might say AZ got a large NEGATIVE ROI for its NAMI investment!

Lilly was next on the list having donated $750,500.00 to NAMI in 2009. Recall that Lilly markets Cymbalta and that it recently received a warning letter from the FDA about misleading a Cymablta print ad ? ie, re: ?omission of risk information.? Cymbalta is indicated for treatment of depression among many other things these days (see ?The Cymbalta Buzz Machine is at Full Throttle!?).

The third biggest NAMI pharma ?funder? for 2009 was BMS, which donated $506,250.00. Recall that BMS markets the drug Abilify for bipolar disorder. Some time ago, Andy Behrman ? BMS?s patient spokesperson for Abilify ? went on a campaign against the very product he endorsed for money (see ?Andy Behrman, Now an Anti-BMS Spokesperson, Says ?Ask Your Doctor If Abilify is Wrong for You??).

It?s a crazy, crazy world out there in the marketing of mental illness drugs!

 

Source: Office of Medical and Scientific Justice

Author, Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach, recovered borderline, and adult child of two parents with BPD (one parent with BPD/NPD), A.J. Mahari has a new audio to help you to start and/or continue your own recovery. Learn effective tools and skills and boundaries to take back your own life. Learn to eliminate toxic guilt and feeling obligated to a personality-disordered parent.

In this audio A.J. includes insightful information, motivation, shares some of her own experience and what she knows it takes to recover as the adult child of two personality-disordered parents. Mahari has also included 9 Coaching Questions/Reflections Journal exercises for you to do that she includes in her Coaching with adult children of personality-disordered parents.

When you are raised in a family with one or both parents having one or more personality disorders you do need your own recovery. Some will be diagnosed with the same personality disorders and have a double-recovery process to undertake, like A.J. Mahari did. Others will not be as wounded or affected but will still have wounding issues from childhood that, if left unaddressed, can cause them to get involved in codependent, chaotic, toxic, enmeshed unhealthy relationships which do not make it possible to live authentically or to be happy.

If you are the adult child of a mother with BPD, a father with BPD, a mother or father with NPD, or perhaps a parent with both BPD/NPD and maybe even with other co-morbid diagnoses, you really will benefit from this audio and from getting started in a new and very consciously aware way to cope more effectively, to make new choices, and to find your own recovery.

 

? A.J. Mahari, February 16, 2011, ? All rights reserved.

Speaking not only as a Life Coach, BPD, and mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari emphasizes to you, if you are adult child of a parent with BPD, NPD, or any personality disorder (or combination of said) that you need your own recovery. Children do learn what they live. A great deal of the inter-generational suffering of those who were the children of a personality disordered parent or parents has to do with the toxic legacy of not resolving issues such as codependence, enmeshment, toxic relating, chaotic and unhealthy relationships with one’s parent(s). There is a legacy to having been the child of a personality disordered parent or parents and A.J. Mahari knows this all-too-well in her own personal life as well having had a mother with BPD and a father with BPD/NPD. Personality Disordered parents are not emotionally available and children are negatively impacted as a result. Adult children of a personality disordered parent or parents need their own recovery.

Many an adult child who growing up had a mother or father with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder separately or co-morbid and perhaps even co-morbid with other mental health challenges and/or other personality disorders need to recognize that they have been psychologically wounded.

Wounded in ways that perpetuate suffering in other relationships, suffering inside, alone, often reeling from unresolved abandonment, invalidation, and grief. This applies to all adult children, to varying degrees, whether you yourself have also been diagnosed with a personality disorder or not.

 

You can purchase A Bundle of 4 videos of A.J.’s Adult Child of BPD/NPD experience in the Video Category

 

Many can and will benefit from my Life Coaching Services to sort out what you need to do, how you can heal and leave the past behind and move forward in your life. I have been there in my own personal life and I know what it takes to win your freedom from the soul-crushing and painful chaos of the toxic relating with a personality-disordered parent. Until you resolve these issues and find your closure, something I work on with many adult children of a personality parent or personality disordered parents, you may well feel anxious or depressed, not trust your instincts and judgment, not know who you really are, be repeating a toxic pattern of unhealthy relationships. You can free yourself from all of this. You can find your own happiness. You can heal the codependent enmeshment and over-come toxic guilt. You have a right to make your own choices and to empower yourself in the here-and-now.

 

? A.J. Mahari, February 14, 2011 – All rights reserved.

 

Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ?brain disease?. You can recover from Borderline Personality Disorder like I did. A.J. Mahari has a new audio out that features some of her experience from her own recovery as to what can keep people stuck and blocked from recovery and what is the focus, the way, and the direction to open to the process that makes recovery possible.

This Audio Program includes two tracks:

Track One: The Obsession With How BPD Feels ? It adds to suffering and keeps people stuck in BPD
Track Two: Re-Focusing on the Search For the Middle ? Opening to what the process of recovery entails

? A.J. Mahari, January 22, 2011 ? All rights reserved.

 

To purchase this audio please CLICK HERE

I now have a new site where I will be sharing much more about recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. This site will include video, audio, blogs, and coming very soon – excerpts from my up-coming memoir about my recovery from BPD in 1995 and my audio autobiography which is a prelude to the memoir in which I share the impacting and noteworthy aspects of my “borderline years” along with some childhood experiences that were central to all that I had to get through in the therapy that was my process of recovery. There is so much hope for BPD recovery – hope that is being negated by systemic stigma and hidden agendas within many areas of the mental health delivery system these days. What do you need to know more about? Why do so many say you can’t recover from Borderline Personality Disorder? Why do they say that? What is BPD really, anyway? Remember, what you think creates your experience, so be very careful about what you think about what BPD is, how it is treated, who knows what, and what causes it and much more.

There is too much being said these days by too many about all that is negative about Borderline Personality Disorder. Too many people focus too much on the stereotypical, limiting, devaluing, pathologizing of human beings who are living their lives with BPD – in an out-of-balance way. That’s not something entirely pathological at all. It is a reactive-response to unaddressed and unhealed woundedness. People with Borderline Personality Disorder are not all the same. People with BPD, especially in a relational context, exhibit what it means to be human in very intense and polarized ways. Not pathological, but out-of-balance ways.

The traits that psychiatry as used to define Borderline Personality Disorder are human traits. How is it that they took what are human traits and twisted them into a pathology that they named Borderline Personality Disorder and then abandoned anyone diagnosed with it saying that you can’t get better. Can’t get better from what? Being human in intensely polarized ways? Say what?

And to further complicate that reality that people with Borderline Personality Disorder can get well, in the last decade or so, now these (not all but a lot) psychiatrists have created, yes created, what is now known as biopsychiatry. Biopsychiatry, essentially came out of what is not being referred to as “the decade of the brain” – the 1990′s. “Decade of the brain” – what? Did the brain need a decade? What does this mean? What was the focus on the brain about and who was doing the focusing? What was the purpose of this focus? These are important questions to keep in mind when you consider what BPD really is versus what biospsychiatry says it is and what that means for recovery and what that means to the process of actual recovery versus being kept stuck in what psychiatrists and the mental profession continue to claim is such “pathology”.

The “decade of the brain” saw many studies be reported, actually, marketed to the public. Studies that made all sorts of claims about Borderline Personality Disorder, and indeed, mental illness generally, as “brain disorder” or “brain disease”. Do you like science fiction? I personally, don’t really. It’s a lot of fantasy and illusion with high-tech special effects. Oh, wait, rather just like the studies of the “decade of the brain” and beyond. What most people don’t know or realize, unless they question the mass-marketing of supposed study-findings that conclude Borderline Personality Disorder is a “brain disorder” is that these studies were largely funded – if not entirely funded – by Big Pharma, mainly in the United States to begin with. The big money of Big Pharma (pharaceutical companies – drug companies) looked for a more effective way to market their products. That’s what is behind biopsychiatry. A “marriage” of sorts between Big Pharma and its marketing machine and big dollars to advertising in all forms of media meets “mental health professionals” who also want to make more money. Where is the actual mental health consumer/client/patient in this “relationship”?

If you believe that biopsychiatry, which is also known as the “medical model of psychiatry”, has the any proof of their claims – claims that they put across about mental illness as a “brain disorder” to sell drugs to people that actually, in the long run, obfuscate recovery and make it more difficult for people thus meaning they will be more reliant on the drugs and the prescribing mental health professionals – I hope you will think again, do some research and do your best not to get caught up in or trapped in their smoke-and-mirror pseduo-science. A “science”, this “brain disorder” junk they say their “studies” back-up as if it were proof when at best it is only theory, if that, takes your humanity out of the equation. It doesn’t look at you, the mental health consumer/client/patient as a whole person at all. But then, should that be surprising given the fact that the traits they list, for example, in the DSM-IV as “pathological” as “mental illness” as “personality disordered traits” are human traits that they themselves have defined as pathology?

You can recover from Borderline Personality Disorder. I did. What can block your ability to get well and to recover is being fooled by biopsychiatry into believing that you have a “brain disorder” and that only those who create the “illness” can cure it. But can they? NO! Do they even try? NO! That’s right – biopsychiatry, largely backed by, created by, and funded by Big Pharma has a different agenda other than treating people with BPD and mental illness – they are serving themselves, not you!

Sound controversial? Sound crazy? Sound impossible? Well, if you want to know more about where I am coming from with this please do visit my newest site at bpdmemoir.com where I will be talking more about recovery and what kind of thinking supports recovery and what kind of thinking will keep you stuck in the pain of Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

 

I’ll also be speaking to Loved Ones of those with BPD about what types of misinformation you need to pay more attention to so that you have all the information you need to make decisions in your best interest. Many books in the last few years targeted at BPD Loved Ones, BPD Family members, partners, and ex-partners, co-workers, etc., of those with BPD have mislead you also in terms of this “medical model of BPD” that is really not about supporting wellness or recovery and is more about an industry making money and yes, exploiting people’s pain.

 

 

? A.J. Mahari, December 21, 2010 – All rights reserved.